Author Topic: Garrys reimported Jokes.  (Read 17420 times)

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Offline Paula Gottsch (Willson)

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2008, 04:49:18 PM »
I don't mind you borrowing my clothes SandyB, it's just that my shoes heels are in their moerin when you bring them back but I must say you look good in this outfit   women(1)



 ha ha





Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2008, 05:23:56 PM »
Ok  Paula  ..  Promise  ..   promise .. cross  my  heart  ..  on pain of  death ..  I'll never  borrow  your  clothes on a  Saturday night  again  ..  anyhow  your   high  heels  were a bit  uncomfortable ..


 ha ha
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #17 on: August 26, 2008, 05:25:57 PM »
The train was quite crowded, so a US Marine walked the entire length
looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed
middle-aged French woman's poodle.  The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am,
may I have that seat?'  The French woman just sniffed and said to no-one
in particular, 'Americans are so rude.  My little Fifi is using that
seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog.  'Please, ma'am, may I sit down?  I'm very tired.' She
snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word;  he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.  The woman shrieked
'Someone must defend my honour!  Put this American in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up,  'Sir, you Americans seem
to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.  You hold the fork in the
wrong hand.  You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road.
 And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong b!tch out of the window.
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline SandyB

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2008, 08:57:47 PM »
From Winston Churchill ... some  dry humour to compliment the previous one ..

WINSTON CHURCHILL
* Lady Astor: 'If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee!' - Churchill:
'My dear, if you were my wife I'd drink it
* George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of
his plays to Winston Churchill with the following note: 'Bring a friend, if
you have one.' Churchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and excused
himself as he had a previous engagement. He also attached the following:
'Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one.'
* House of Commons late one night: Bessie Braddock: 'Winston you are drunk!'
Winston Churchill: 'Bessie, you're ugly. And tomorrow morning I will be
sober.'
*Churchill is dozing in a train carriage. A woman enters and sits across
from him. She notices his flies are undone. 'Sir!' she exclaims, 'Your penis
is sticking out!' Churchill starts awake, gives the woman a cold stare,
looks down for a moment then meets her gaze again. 'Madam, you flatter
yourself. It is merely hanging out.'
To see  sometimes  requires that you  first believe .

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2008, 09:30:16 PM »
 :buffo9:
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline SandyB

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2008, 10:19:37 PM »

FOR ALL THE  BOT BAR REGULARS

Some of these are VERY difficult to say even when you are sober!!!
 
 Things that are hard to say when you're drunk.

a)  Innovative
b)  Preliminary
c)  Proliferation
d)  Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk

a)  Specificity
b)  British Constitution
c)  Passive-aggressive
d)  Transubstantiates

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk

a)  Nope, no more drinks for me, I've reached my limit
b)  Sorry, but you're not really my type
c)  Please take the shooters back, let's have water
d)  Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
e)  I'm not interested in fighting you
f)  Oh, I just couldn't- no one wants to hear me sing
g)  Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero coordination
h)  Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
i)  I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
j)  I must get to my bed because I could never have a really good sleep in that hedge

To see  sometimes  requires that you  first believe .

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2008, 08:19:41 AM »
Very good Sandy...  ha ha
I hope Garry pops in himself. He'd like this one...
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2008, 05:21:03 PM »
Another new illness to watch out for!


A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.!

'What's the matter?' he asks.

'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.

'What the hell is anal glaucoma?'

'I just can't see my ass coming into work today.

 

 
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2008, 05:26:43 PM »
The frensh-fried-pizza-burger.
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #24 on: August 27, 2008, 05:28:38 PM »
And then... :culo1:
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline SandyB

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #25 on: August 27, 2008, 09:12:12 PM »
Hectic !! 
To see  sometimes  requires that you  first believe .

Offline Paula Gottsch (Willson)

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #26 on: August 28, 2008, 12:34:05 AM »
Holy cow!!!


 faceinfood feedme

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #27 on: August 28, 2008, 05:14:46 AM »
I don't want to imagine eating this.
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline georg ruf jr.

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #28 on: August 28, 2008, 05:09:25 PM »
Now this is just a sweet little story. Enjoy...

Can I borrow R25.00?

A man came home from work late,
tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business.
Why do you ask such a thing?'
the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know.

Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make R50.00 an hour..'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied,
with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow R25.00?'

The father was furious,

'If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy
or some other nonsense, then you march yourself
straight to your room and go to bed.

Think about why you are being so selfish.

I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier
about the little boy's questions.
How dare he ask such questions
only to get some money?
After about an hour or so,
the man had calmed down ,
and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed
to buy with that R25.00 and he really
didn't ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of
the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking,
maybe I was too hard on you earlier'
said the man.

'It's been a long day and
I took out my aggravation on you.

Here's the R25.00 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.

'Oh, thank you daddy!' He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pull ed out
some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money,
started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money,
and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already
have some?' the father grumbled.

Because I didn't have enough,
but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have R50.00 now.
Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow.
I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed.
He put his arms around his little son,
and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all
of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers
without having spent some time
with those who really matter to us,
those close to our hearts.
Do remember to share that R50.00 worth of
your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow,
the company that we are working for
could easily replace us in a matter of hours.
But the family & friends we leave behind
will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Make time for living while you're still breathing.

Can I Borrow R25.00?
Nothing special. Just some clips I put in youtube.de
http://de.youtube.com/results?search_query=bigbug74&search_type=&aq=f
Please comment! It may help promote our volleyball-club.
Skype: bigbug74

Offline Paula Gottsch (Willson)

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Re: Garrys reimported Jokes.
« Reply #29 on: August 28, 2008, 11:02:29 PM »
I'm sure we can all club together and give you the R25-00 Georgjr  image04