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GENERAL DISCUSSIONS! => The Joke Corner for all => Topic started by: Carl Wrbka on April 27, 2008, 09:04:08 AM

Title: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on April 27, 2008, 09:04:08 AM
South Africa’s Chuck Norris

Vernon Koekemoer is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Vernon Koekemoer.

Vernon Koekemoer' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Vernon Koekemoer.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Vernon Koekemoer can piss his name into concrete.

Vernon Koekemoer uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Jesus can walk on water, but Vernon Koekemoer can swim through dry land.

Vernon Koekemoer once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Vernon Koekemoer.

Chuck Noris only masturbates to pictures of Vernon Koekemoer.

Vernon Koekemoer once visited the Virgin Islands . They are now The Islands.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on April 27, 2008, 09:10:45 AM
Lets see what the girls say to that one

bravo thumper daman
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 27, 2008, 09:47:17 AM
Not  only is  Vernon  ugly but  his  Mommy dresses  him  up  funny ...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 27, 2008, 10:56:03 AM
Are you sure Wayne hasn't got a brother called Vernon.  Just thinking about it what has happened to our Wayne and his midlife?           e154  Wayne come back we still loves you.  e154
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 27, 2008, 12:57:39 PM
Carl, is that your face??? Now that's scary hey!
 arse laughpoint
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on April 27, 2008, 02:32:45 PM
Luckily not jnr. :buffo1:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Donald Duck on April 27, 2008, 04:18:12 PM
"Copy and Paste"
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 28, 2008, 05:18:37 AM
Does this mean everybody's going through cencership Kenny?? You decide what's witty??
HHMMM!
Maybe we just need a forum for Kenny witt and one for rest witt. Would that help??
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 28, 2008, 11:20:50 AM
Does this mean everybody's going through cencership Kenny?? You decide what's witty??
HHMMM!
Maybe we just need a forum for Kenny witt and one for rest witt. Would that help??


WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU ON ABOUT BOY GEORG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on April 28, 2008, 11:27:05 AM
@ Diana

Thats one of the boards problems we have

Give a reply in the wrong post

I have now seen that in 3 different topics.

Best is for all to stick to the topic, it gets confusing

But i tell you what happend. Kennie had made a remark and upset a member.

I hope that is now the end of discussion since it will not help us here specially the few that are very active and want to have fun, thats all.....

Lets keep the board in order for Mikes return

 e154
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 28, 2008, 11:30:17 AM
Cool all forgotten.....I just couldn't make out from the board what he was on about.......THE END

 thnx
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 11:33:16 AM
Its  either  Brakpan  lake or  Bapsfontein  .. our  Vernon  looks  very  much at home  there ..
@ Georg Snr , keeping  the  order I see ... ?? it  would  help if  you  closed the  bar  cos  the  children  are  getting  rowdy  after  days  of  drinking  unsupervised ...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on April 28, 2008, 11:38:28 AM
@ Sandy

Well thats necessary sometimes, but as long as we have fun, nothing else counts

Have a nice day
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 11:43:06 AM
Bar is  closed ... better  so  cos  you looking  strangely like Capt Hook  from  peter pan  .. I  wonder if  the rest  are having the  same hallucination as  me ?? 
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on April 28, 2008, 11:48:33 AM
@ Sandy, are you talking about my avatar ???

There you see what that board has done to me, hit me on the head and thats how i look like now.

On the other hand one can only improove on my looks, could not get worse LOL

By now, i am used to and have to live with it  meanpuff
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 28, 2008, 01:50:02 PM
Sorry Guys.
Saw Kennys "Paste and Post" hint in almost every topic this moring. Got carried away.
Back to buiseness now...  bling1

Does this guy realy exist or not? koekemoer???
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 02:27:24 PM
Yup  the  badly dressed muscleman exists ... like  said  not only is he ugly  his Mommy dresses him  up funny ...  then  again  there are  people  who  find it attractive ?/   a bad cross  between  Sly Stallone  and ??
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 28, 2008, 08:57:47 PM
He looks like one of these plastic dolls kids play with.

Maybe he's a cross between Sly and a doll...  laughpoint
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 28, 2008, 09:36:58 PM
No not a doll......try again.     I know, I know...... :emot186:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 09:38:08 PM
You  got it down  to  a  T Jnr ..  an  action  doll ( maybe  he's a blow up  one ?/ )  I see Diana has come in on the commentary  .. Ok  Hon .. How  do  you  know  .. tell  us  now ??
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 28, 2008, 09:42:31 PM
I'll get in twouble from Michael,like last time.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 09:49:01 PM
Why  ?/ you got  him  deflated  and  safely  hidden   on  the top  shelf  of  the  cupboard ??  secrets safe with  me ..  next time  we  inflate  him  with  helium  and carry him around  like  a  huge balloon ...  that  should  cause a  stir hey ??
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 28, 2008, 09:53:21 PM
 :sorriso2:  only you and I found that amusing?

Me thinks I'll keep him deflated and hidden for a while/     :sorriso2:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on April 28, 2008, 09:59:47 PM
Who's been kept deflated at the top of your cupboard?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 10:03:50 PM
The muscle boy cross between  sly stallone and a male action doll   whose mother  dresses him funny .. the  blow  up  model  ..  actually I  think  we  should  just do the helium thing  and let him float off  maybe  he ends  up  back  at  Brakpan  waterfront ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on April 28, 2008, 10:06:01 PM
From those pics at the start of the topic - sorry guys but there's no amount of drink....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 28, 2008, 10:17:03 PM
Just  keep the mask on  then  no  drink  will pass  your  lips .. and  then  you'l be  safe ..  me  run  out  of  shiraz  .. have  to  ahve  a  nice  scotch now .. suppose  Mike  wont  mind ??   dont  worry   he's not  my  type so  i  can  drink as  much as i  want ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 29, 2008, 05:33:07 AM
lol
You guys are a good laugh.
Kept the subject realy hot again.
Anybody by chance ever see a report on how these "natural" dolls are made for adult entertainment? Just came to my mind while emaginating Diana and Sandy "walking" their inflated doll in CT. People have special wishes in color, size, hair length ect. with their order of doll. Sick, isn't it?
But as we see, some dolls even grow up and get a comparison with Chuck Norris.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on April 29, 2008, 07:33:00 AM
Sorry to interrupt your moment of passion.

Just saw an interview with "Vernon" on news 24. He's actually quite chuffed with all the free publicity since being discovered at the H20 festival in Boksburg. Apparently his fan club has risen to over 4000 on Facebook allready. I suppose the hype will probably blow over as with Chuck and Hoff. As for the inflatables...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 07:42:57 AM
" Discovered" ?  yes  the  world is a truly amazing place ..  you  get people  that  become  famous  just  for  being  famous or  in  the  public  arena  .. take the   Paris Hilton  , a female   blow  up  version  of  the  doll  family .. attratctive  , but  overly too much already looking nipped  and  tucked  personal  make-up artist type of attractive ..  what has  she actually  done  apart  from  party  her life  away  and  get  into  trouble  ??  if  the  newspapers  ignored  her  she  would  most  probably  just drop  away  into  obscurity ..   and  there are  young  girls  out  there  that want  to  emulate  her .. Mothers .. if  you  see  that  trait  showing  in your  daughters ,  be  afraid .. very  afraid ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on April 29, 2008, 08:19:08 AM
Too true. I think her dad would be doing summersaults in his grave if he knew how she was throwing away his family name. Paris more than defines the term BIMBO.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 29, 2008, 08:51:47 AM
True words Sandy.
Isn't her father alive and very proud of his little... Won't say.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 08:58:40 AM
" ..........." 
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 29, 2008, 09:17:56 AM
Our "Doll" Sandy's and mine, is a bit of Alando Bloom, Yochim Phonix, Jonny Depp and a dash of "Heathcliff". Stay with me here Sandy.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 29, 2008, 09:21:20 AM
my question Diana, is the doll so far away from human?
 :36_2_35:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 09:23:26 AM
I'm  with  you Hon .. so when  do  we  do  the  helium  thing ??
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 29, 2008, 09:25:44 AM
Nooo......at my age everything is real. I'm sexy you know!!!!     :sorriso2:    Boy Georg

Later Sandy later I want him for myself a bit longer.........

Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on April 29, 2008, 10:27:08 AM
I'm sure you're for real and sexy Diana.  swink
I was refering to your doll...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on April 29, 2008, 10:51:41 AM
I only saw the article and photo about this Vernon in the Rapport about 3 weeks ago.

What's this dude's story?  Sound like something out of a Jerry Springer show!?  Diana & Sandy  -  what you gonna do with him - deflated or inflated?  Could he be one of those 'things' you use as a scarecrow to make your friends/kids/nephews/grandkids etc stay away from funny jol joints? 

Man, those muscles...   ag, ma!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 11:03:44 AM
  Jerry  Springer  ??   trailer  park  mentality  ?/  Oh  so  true  Dalene ..  Yup  we  gonna  use  him  to  scare  people ..  Me  and Diana  having  fun with  him  in  the meantime  ..   let  the   children    that  we  are play  a  bit and  allow  us  our  bit  of  time  with  the  blow  up  doll ..    picture  in my  mind  now is ...  inflate  him  till  he  looks  like  the  Michelin  man .. now  that  would be  a  real  crowd  scarer .. then  prick  a hole  in  him  ( Diana  can  choose  where )  and let him  go  off  with  a  rasp  zigzagging through the  air   till  he lands  on  the  shores  of  Boksburg  lake  nothing  but  a  crumpled  heap  ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on April 29, 2008, 11:26:25 AM
 :36_2_35:

You two, please take off his platform tekkies before you let him get airborn.  I dig them kwaai  -  you can't allow that to end up in the lake.  The shirt he ties in a knot at his midrif  -  nah, send it off with him. 
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 29, 2008, 11:41:20 AM
 :36_2_35:   I can prick a hole.   
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 11:44:56 AM
Anywhere you  so  choose  Hon ...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 02:44:40 PM
Ja  those  platform takkies  ... some of  the  guys at  work  wear  them  . it  makes  them  walk funny , like  they  kind  of  balancing  .. would  hate  to  see  them  walk in  them  when  they  drunk ?? and  why do  you  want  the elevator  shoes ??   remember  you  the  dynamite in the  small  package .. I  dont  want  to  see  you  walk  funny  as  well ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on April 29, 2008, 03:15:48 PM
No, don't want to wear them, want to keep them on the shelf that say's "Kaggelk*k"  with the inscription of "Items never to buy for yourself"  -  that's gonna be placed next to a basket of plastic flowers, those purple and white ones.

 cl1
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 04:06:27 PM
Got  it  .. the Kitsch corner ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 04:16:18 PM
From those pics at the start of the topic - sorry guys but there's no amount of drink....
Nice  Picture  Rhona  .. but   keep  the mask on  till Vernon  disapears  , drink  can  do  funny  things to  one ... We  dont  want  Vernon appearing   appealing  through the haze .. trust  me  in  the  haze  anyhting can happen  ...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on April 29, 2008, 06:30:16 PM
"Copy and Paste"

Certain things just seem to work better if copied and pasted Kenny. 4 Pages of conversation just on this topic alone, and counting. I understand your concern about so called chain letters, but that's where you as moderator of this board could step in. It's just a suggestion. Perhaps you could post a poll to get the member's opinion on this?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on April 29, 2008, 09:04:41 PM
I'm telling you Sandy - Guinness don't brew enough in a life time and even if I added the entire Guinness production to Mikes free bar and a shot of poitin; there still wouldn't be enough.......  :nono1:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 11:08:16 PM
actually  you know  something .. i get the horrible feeling that the  Muscle boy Vernon  , Paris H and the rest of their ilk  get part of their " fame / notoriety " by feeding of  good  folk  like us being critical  or  yes  like  Diana and  me  having  a hoot playing  with  the  blow  up doll  version  of  him .. no  more  " fame  or  notoriety " for him  or  bimbo  Paris .. Diana I  have  chosen  where I  will  prick Paris .. you  tell  em where you  going  to  prick  Vernon .. .. whoosh  farting  sounds  and  the  two  of  them  disapear  into  obscurity .. zizagging  crazily  to land on  some  deserted beach as  crumpled  heaps  of  blow up doll  flesh .. subject closed for  me  .. and  Rhona its  safe  to  let  drink  pass  your  lips  again ...  for  that I will  tell  you  the  booze  hazed james  dean  story one  night ..  promise ?/
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on April 29, 2008, 11:17:34 PM
And a promise is a promise - I'll wait patiently for your story.............did ye guys get the story in the news of the priest that attached himself to a load of helium balloons and took off into the sky to break some world record or something - all money raised for charity............he is missing!!!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on April 29, 2008, 11:21:17 PM
Yup  he took the  shortcut to  heaven .. actually a bit of  a  bummer  .. he  must ahve put  too  much  faith  in  his  boss  .. me?/ I  would  have  had  a parachute as backup .......  you  never kow  what  plans he  might  have  up  his  sleeve ...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on April 30, 2008, 08:12:48 AM
Like they say, faith can move mountains. Faith is a big girl...lol
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on April 30, 2008, 08:20:49 AM
Meet you Saturday at the Biscuit Mill Sandy with my pin-cushion and a bottle of Shiraz.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on April 30, 2008, 11:15:01 PM
What about me..........can I come out and play as well  pls
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on May 01, 2008, 08:21:07 AM
Ask Diana ...   but I wiill  entertain you with  the JD  alcohol haze story soon...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on May 01, 2008, 01:45:34 PM
On  its  way >>>>>>>>>>>>
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on May 01, 2008, 01:47:25 PM
Ok  Rhona ,, you  and  Verona  must  be  on  the  same  wavelength .. she  popped  onto  site this  morning , a  subsequent   fone  call the  two of  us  chatting  and   she  said  the  james dean  night of  drunk  haze  story  is  definitely appropriate   and  relevant   to     the Vernon   blow up  number  ..  so it  goes on  this  topic ..
 I  relate  ..   I  was  out the  one  night  .. travelling incognito  visiting  the  snakepits  of  the  city …  must  have  been  about  2 + am  ..  me  now  at a  club called  Tots ..  nice  venue  with  a  long  bar,   good  dance floor, good  music ,  nice  mixed  crowd ..  plenty of  chill  out  lounge areas .. and bonus  a  balcony .. I  am  now  out on  the balcony .. feeling  as  glamorous  as  the  rest  of  the hazy  booze and  dope   altered  crowd .. hell  man you  did’nt  need  to  light  a  spliff  , just  stand  on  the  balcony  and  do  a bit of  passive  inhaling ..  anyhow  me  have   the odd  chat  with  some  friends  .. now standing  alone  .. when  I observe  through  the  ever  moving  crowd  a few  meters  away this  absolute  dish  leaning  up against  a  pillar  looking  at  me  intently …  look  away  .. chat to  someone  else .. look  again  .. the  same  intent  look  is  being  beamed at  me ..  a  few more  swigs of  wine .. look  again , the  same  intent  gaze ..  Oh  boy  I must follow  up  on  this  one .. a  nice  flirtation  to  round  of  the  night … I  gather  myself  and  walk  as  neatly  as my  haze  compromised  feet  will take  me ..  look  cool , act  cool  ,  look  the part ..  I squeeze  my  way  through the  crowd  and  get  to  my  gazer ..>>>>
Shock , horror , it’s a  life  size  cardboard  cutout  of  james  dean  in  one  of  his  famous poses  put  up  against  the  pillar …
Between  the  booze  haze  and  the  movement of  the  crowd he  had  taken on  life …   I  realized  its  now  time  to  be  afraid ,very  afraid , my judgement  compromised to  this  extent ??  ..  fled to  safety  of  home .. but  me  a big  boy , in fact  love those lapses of  sensibility  cos  they  always  bring one  back  to earth in a  strange  way  and  also  give  one  something  to look  abck  on  and laugh , and  of  course  dine  out  on , share  with  friends …………
@ Diana  if  you  get  jealous of my  cardboard  cutout  you can  always  burn him Ok ??
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: DUNJA WRBKA on May 01, 2008, 04:55:34 PM
  :emot19: :emot19:   :emot19:


OMG that was funny ....    daman
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on May 01, 2008, 06:32:18 PM
  :emot19: OMG Sandy - I LOVE IT!!!  e154

I could actually picture you, as cool as an ice-cube walking over to the 'last dance' of the night........absolutely brilliant
 
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on May 01, 2008, 06:36:23 PM
Watch out your drinking habits Sandy

Just now you will see white mice jumping up and down in your bedroom.

You are an andangered specie with all that shiraz muddling up your mind   iknow
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on May 02, 2008, 04:44:10 AM
Georg .. that one  happened  a  few  years ago   was still  celebrating my failed adulthood , thats why midlife crisis never  hit me ..  now  all I  have to look  forward to is  middle age and then old age , while still celebrating failed adulthood ??  .. no  joking .. me  have  now  become  a  complete  adult  .. or  at  least i  think so ..    the child   in  me  lurks  dangerously . and I  have to  keep him  in check .. especialy  now  I  only have  me  to  keep  check on  me ... and  that  has  hit hard ....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 02, 2008, 08:51:55 AM
@  daddy georg, seeing white mice for sandy. like mikes dad seeing PINK ELEPHANTS in CASEYS.

the guys stuck a poster of said elephant on the ceiling above JOCKS regular table and when he was well on they told him to look up. :emot19: :emot19: :emot19:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 04, 2008, 09:01:46 PM
@ Diana  if  you  get  jealous of my  cardboard  cutout  you can  always  burn him Ok ??

[/quote]

 :emot19:   were you wearing your short shorts.

You mean you still have the cutout?   Burn him, never!!!!    I'll keep him in my wardrobe.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on May 04, 2008, 09:12:23 PM
Didnt  even  bother  taking it home .. i fled .. James Dean or  not ...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on May 05, 2008, 07:54:47 PM
@Sandy, I know about the Jocks Table... but do you remember if there was a Geordie's table also?

Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on May 05, 2008, 07:58:42 PM
Dont  use  them  much  but .... quickdop :emot98:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on May 06, 2008, 08:52:07 PM
Has anybody seen the new Vodacom advert on TV? Our friend Vernon has made it into showbizz...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on May 06, 2008, 09:28:16 PM
Yep  -  Vodacom's own blow up helium filled Vernon.

Diana & Sandy -  you have a go at him!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 06, 2008, 09:30:46 PM
yeah, isaw him.

maybe he is koos's twin. koos hasnt been too active lately,last time made snide remarks at me, maybe that shakes him wakker.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on May 06, 2008, 10:27:18 PM
Koos only makes snide remarks if he likes you.........
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 06, 2008, 03:40:42 PM
... and so it begins…



Vernon Koekemoer makes onions cry

Vernon Koekemoer can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Vernon Koekemoer killing people faster than Death can process them.

Vernon Koekemoer can build a snowman..... out of rain.

Vernon Koekemoer can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Vernon Koekemoer can drown a fish.

When Vernon Koekemoer enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Vernon Koekemoer looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Vernon Koekemoer and Vernon Koekemoer

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards, Vernon Koekemoer can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Vernon Koekemoer. He is the end of all things.

Vernon Koekemoer does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Vernon Koekemoer

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Vernon Koekemoer and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The Vernon Koekemoer calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Vernon Koekemoer.

If you spell Vernon Koekemoer wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Vernon Koekemoer?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Vernon Koekemoer can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Vernon Koekemoer' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Vernon Koekemoer gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Vernon Koekemoer can kill two stones with one bird.

Vernon Koekemoer was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Vernon Koekemoer kills 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Vernon Koekemoer was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Vernon Koekemoer can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Vernon Koekemoer has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.

It takes Vernon Koekemoer 10 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Vernon Koekemoer once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vernon Koekemoer could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Vernon Koekemoer.

Vernon Koekemoer destroyed the periodic table, because Vernon Koekemoer only recognises the element of surprise.

Vernon Koekemoer got his drivers licence at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Vernon Koekemoer is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Vernon Koekemoer is pain. Do not try to square Vernon Koekemoer, the result is death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Vernon Koekemoer takes this as a personal insult

Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on June 06, 2008, 03:56:03 PM
Here Vernie then....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 06, 2008, 04:48:52 PM
Nice one's Dalene...anymore Vernons?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 07, 2008, 07:06:22 AM
When Superman goes to bed he puts on his Vernon Koekemoer pygamas.

When the boogeyman goes to bed he checks in the closet for Vernon Koekemoer.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michele Alexander (Voden) on June 07, 2008, 07:59:15 AM
 :emot19:

Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 09:54:56 AM
Here's a new batch of Vernon...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 09:56:36 AM
and...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 09:58:28 AM
and....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 09:59:39 AM
and lastly....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 09, 2008, 10:49:16 AM
Is kyk the Afrikaans word for cake?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 11:15:42 AM
Koek......
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: mavis(smith) on June 09, 2008, 11:43:33 AM
Kyk is the Afrikaans word for Look
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 11:45:37 AM
Kyk is the Afrikaans word for Look
I thought so too,

dont trust a scot to teach afrikaans LOL  image14
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 11:52:36 AM
Ni Kyk is Koek!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 09, 2008, 12:29:57 PM
So kyk means koek, and koek is cake???
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 12:32:33 PM
So kyk means koek, and koek is cake???
Lets see what the real afrikaaners say, that scot is full of nonsense today i guess  image06
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 09, 2008, 12:39:19 PM
No jnr, koek is definately not cake. There is a distinct difference in taste.  Let me go before I get into trouble again...lol
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 09, 2008, 12:46:02 PM
So koek would probably be salty???   ... and in some cases with a slight touch of armoniak? (spelling)
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 12:53:31 PM
 :emot172:   :emot19:   beautiful

Hey Carl, don't lead the okie astray.....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 09, 2008, 12:54:31 PM
Geeeez! And I thought I was gretting close now
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 09, 2008, 01:02:33 PM
Good choice of smileys there Michael  :emot19:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 09, 2008, 01:11:12 PM
Okay! I agree. It's enough if I learn English here. Can't expect you guys teaching me Afrikaans too...
 Boobs hoolahoop1 :emot172: bling1
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Sheena on June 09, 2008, 02:23:57 PM
Jnr, don't listen to them.  They are trying to teach you all the wrong things!!!

@Mike and Carl, what are you guys up to????

By the way Mike - also enjoyed the smileys...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 02:29:27 PM
@ Junior
I suggest you write to Dalene she will tell you what kyk means, forget the rest they are full of beans today.....

If they carry on, we will start to write in our dialect  image20
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 02:30:07 PM
Ibassamoluff
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 09, 2008, 02:48:35 PM
kyk........look.
koek.......cake,fanny,toeks,padda,vagina.

There we go.  One Afrikaans - English lesson.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 02:51:59 PM
Thanks Diana for spitting it out, i dit not dare too.... very clever description  dawoman
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 09, 2008, 04:04:28 PM
@ Georg - Just to confuse you a little - to "koekeloer" is to "kyk" at "koek" when you're not supposed to - ie. peeping tom. :wow1:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 04:37:35 PM
Who knows what a naaidoes is? And this is'nt a joke..... it's in the dictionary...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 09, 2008, 04:45:34 PM
Dunno. Something to do with sewing?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 04:58:59 PM
Who knows what a naaidoes is? And this is'nt a joke..... it's in the dictionary...
Mike even i know, so dont be silly......

Direct translation and clean is a sewing box, that could be a box with utensils you use on a sewing machine.

Bad boys like you , mean something different  thumper
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 05:00:38 PM
No Folks.... we have a afrikaans / English dictionary and one of the guys at work noticed the word and even the Afrikaans guys here did'nt even know what it meant and were surprised to hear the real meaning....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 09, 2008, 05:23:34 PM
Glauben die wirlich, dass ich nichts verstanden habe. Naja! Mir hat's auf jeden Fall Spass bereitet.
 image06 image11
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 09, 2008, 05:56:17 PM
Who knows what a naaidoes is? And this is'nt a joke..... it's in the dictionary...

A pumphouse.   pumpbox
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 06:00:54 PM
pumpbox  :emot98:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 09, 2008, 06:21:27 PM
@ Georg jnr - don't do this to me, now I wont sleep before I know if I'm right about what you said in German!   Please explain the exclamation "Naja" - what does it mean?  Could it be like the Afrikaans "nou-ja", or would you use the English word "well," in this case?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 06:26:41 PM
@ Bertie

Hope jnr will clear that with you so you can sleep tonight LOL
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 06:35:07 PM
No... but you will find it in the kitchen....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 09, 2008, 06:44:51 PM
@ Georg Snr - thanx, I see he's offline, so I hope he replies! 
Something different - the eye on your profile, is it yours?  Very interesting eye, wish I had bigger version to have a good look at the picture!  In my studies in alternative medicine, I did a course in Iridology.  It was presented by Dr Florrie Kerschbaumer, in association with the Felke Institut (Germany) who are in the forefront of this field, and involves the making of a diagnosis of medical conditions by looking at the iris of the eye.  Records of this method dates back to 1670 (Phillipus Meydens - Dresden).

@ Michael - Hey Mike, I don't want to know what dictionary you're using!!!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 06:48:32 PM
(http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z249/georgswa/IMGP8907b.jpg)
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 06:48:38 PM
That yellow one with 400 pages..... I will scan the page 2morrow, to prove the answer...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 09, 2008, 06:58:57 PM
@ Georg snr - thank you! Will have a look and let you know (if you want me to) via e-mail.  Usually it's done with a special microscope + camera, but still - interesting.  I wont be diagnosing, just some comments about iridology and how I find your eye interesting.  Please just let me know if the image is not the right eye (as it is in the photo), and not a mirror image.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 09, 2008, 06:59:44 PM
@ Mike - Is there curry involved?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) on June 09, 2008, 07:04:09 PM
@ Bertie

I took that with a mirror, so i think reverse.......in that case it looks like the right eye but would be left.....

Confused ???

You can write your answer here

Remember i am on medications: Aspirin daily, Beta Blocker and Diabetes II Medicine called Metformin here

Thanks i am intersted in your analyses
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 09, 2008, 07:37:16 PM
No... but you will find it in the kitchen....

Hotbox
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 09, 2008, 08:49:45 PM
nope.... and you're gonna be insulted when you see the answer 2morrow...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 09, 2008, 09:14:15 PM
Me or all women?   And we must wait till to-morrow?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 10, 2008, 05:32:37 AM
@ Georg jnr - don't do this to me, now I wont sleep before I know if I'm right about what you said in German!   Please explain the exclamation "Naja" - what does it mean?  Could it be like the Afrikaans "nou-ja", or would you use the English word "well," in this case?

You've got it Bertie...  :sorriso2:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 10, 2008, 05:44:22 AM
Thanks Georg, have a great day everybody!  Unfortunately I wont have any time to check in today - 23 patients booked for the day.  Maybe I was as good as Vernon Koekemoer, I could have seen them all in one hour and still have time to chat?
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 10, 2008, 05:47:03 AM
 :emot19:
Don't work to hard. Maybe you should give your patients a hint ´with the Bean movie...  bling1
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 10, 2008, 05:59:34 AM
Good idea, or maybe the movie "The Dentist".  Don't know if any of you saw it, it's a terrible horror movie with Corbin Bernsen from LA Law fame.
 :buffo9: bye_bye
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 10, 2008, 08:11:51 AM
VERNON FOR PRESIDENT!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 10, 2008, 10:28:15 AM
While you all frantically scamper about searching for the meaning of naaidoes, I've got a good one to share with you.

A couple of years ago on Jakaranda FM they held a phone-in competition. Listeners were invited to phone in the meaning of a word and the winner won some trivial prize. On one day, the word was "kapo*sie".
After numerous wrong answers, a student from Tukkies phones in with the following : "Ek is nie seker nie, maar is dit nie daai ding wat in 'n "kapantie" kom nie"?

The DJ had to switch to a commercial break immediately as he was overcome by an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

The correct answer they were looking for was: Kapo*sie - The pouch on a kangaroo in which the mother carries it's baby around in.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 10, 2008, 11:41:33 AM
 :emot19:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on June 10, 2008, 12:04:46 PM
Firstly   _    Mike A  &  Carl has been teaching Jnr all the wrong stuff!  Never will I send my daughter to a school where the two of you are teachers!       image14       Jnr  -  I will PM you.

I have a few more Vernie's  -  will add them later. 

Trying to catch up again  -  work, work, work and no play these last few weeks!

Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 10, 2008, 12:08:53 PM
Firstly   _    Mike A  &  Carl has been teaching Jnr all the wrong stuff!  Never will I send my daughter to a school where the two of you are teachers!       image14       Jnr  -  I will PM you.

I have a few more Vernie's  -  will add them later. 

Trying to catch up again  -  work, work, work and no play these last few weeks!



 :buffo9:  :emot19:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 10, 2008, 01:22:57 PM
All work and no play makes Carl and Mike A dull boys.  iknow  3_8_14
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on June 10, 2008, 01:25:21 PM
Oi, Carl  -  was'nt talkin 'bout you two's.  You NEVER stop playing.  Was talking about myself.  And I aint dull  -  I'm wearing red today!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 10, 2008, 01:32:46 PM
Firstly   _    Mike A  &  Carl has been teaching Jnr all the wrong stuff!  Never will I send my daughter to a school where the two of you are teachers!       image14      

I was referring to this part...  :sorriso2:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on June 10, 2008, 01:35:29 PM
 image203  Thank goodness, you two will never be teachers!  You might just show them how to build a 'boom that goes bang' and Mike will only give them a tour to the Breweries each day!.......  Poor kiddies..   poor parents!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 12, 2008, 10:18:12 PM
Who knows what a naaidoes is? And this is'nt a joke..... it's in the dictionary...

Have I missed the answer!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: SandyB on June 12, 2008, 10:37:45 PM
So you  want some  cake ??  Kyk  by  die  venster  uit ..
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on June 14, 2008, 06:47:55 PM
Oh Sorry!... here we are... the answer was A HOUSEWIFE ....and that is fact.... I will post the proof next week for those non believers....
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Rhona on June 15, 2008, 07:10:06 PM
The answer may be a housewife - but WHAT was the question again  :buffo9:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 15, 2008, 07:11:56 PM
I think Mike also forgot the question! :emot19: :emot172:
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on June 16, 2008, 09:44:11 PM
xxx
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: georg ruf jr. on June 17, 2008, 05:21:25 AM
I'm starting to feel sorry or this guy...
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Bertie Horak on June 17, 2008, 05:40:15 AM
Don't feel sorry for him, feel sorry for the people around him!
No seriously, a simple post of a picture in an e-mail has turned into an empire - he's stinking rich now!
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Carl Wrbka on June 17, 2008, 03:03:10 PM
Yup, an innocent prank on Facebook turns a weirdly dressed mullet man into a celebrity overnight. Only in South Africa.
Title: Re: Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.
Post by: Michael Alexander on March 03, 2011, 02:45:06 PM
Gee! What Happened Veron then?  are-you-there