THE INSENSITIVE VENTRILOQUIST
A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town..
He's going through his usual run of off-colour and 'dumb blonde' jokes, when a
Well-dressed blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and shouts:
"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes, you jerk! What makes
you think you can stereotype women that way? What connection can a person's
Hair colour possibly have with their fundamental worth as a human being?"
"It's morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at
work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential, because you
and your Neanderthal brethren continue to perpetuate negative images against
Not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs."
"You are a pathetic, misogynistic relic of the past, and what you do is not only
contrary to discrimination laws in every civilized country, it is deeply
Offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their
fellow citizens. You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little
Maggot."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells:
SCROLL DOWN,
"You stay out of this mister!... I'm talking to that
little bastard on your knee."
So you're back in buiseness again oldman???
ha ha bar(1)
Good one Dadswa!
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I can just picture that incident, hey I'm blonde what do you want from me???????
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Quote from: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on September 01, 2008, 11:27:18 AM
Good one Dadswa!
I can just picture that incident, hey I'm blonde what do you want from me???????
No Paula, thats not you !!!
American blond it is, they are super blond i guess image203
Ok Dadswa, what do you want from me, you being to nice, what's the catch?????
image14 image21 witch-43
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Didn't you read the title Paula???
"Georg joke collection".
ha ha
:culo1: trex-073
HOW TO ATTACK A SNAKE - MILITARY STYLE, or, The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)
1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.
3. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.
6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.
8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how too properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.
9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.
10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.
11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.
12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.
13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby,
checked his weight, and being a little concerned,
asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and
rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional
and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
'No wonder this baby is underweight..
You don't have any milk.'
I know,' she said,
'I'm her Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
ha ha :emot112_2:
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Thought for the day
Never hold your farts in
They travel up your spine, into your brain
and
that is where all the sh*ty ideas come from !!!!!!
[/size]
yellocard
So that were George jnr's sh*ty idea came from when wrapping his friend up in plaster of paris
laughpoint
Carefull there hey. Watch your step, hey!!
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back! 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies............
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
A Very Short Story
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells back, BITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into huge pig in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day: If only men would listen
bravo ha ha
The be a good example oldman... ha ha
Some Thoughts for Mike with Winhoek Lager
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to gent's room, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about its house training. Demand beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when
a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket
for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on
the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse
you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa
the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top ..............
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist.
She looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.
The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'
The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed,
'Lord have mercy!
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.
That's against the law! I'll lose my license!
They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.
Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different.
You didn't tell me you had a prescription.
:buffo9:
Chemical Humour! @#$#
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne
and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new
wife asked, 'What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.
'I had tolio as a child,' he answered.
'You mean polio?' she asked.
'No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.'
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked
'What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!'
'As a child, I also had kneasles,' he explained.
'You mean measles?' she asked.
'No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.'
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
'Don't tell me,' she said.
'Let me guess...
Smallcox?'
ha ha
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:emot112_2: bravo
(http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z249/georgswa/chewinggum.jpg)
:buffo9:
Now I understand what happened to the blue chewing gum I swallowed ...
Silly Questions
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time........ I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
bravo
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened .
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When
The postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the
money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through
Washington , DC., and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.
trex-073
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, 'What are you doing?'
She answers, 'I'm moving to New York I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 a night for doing what I do for you for free.'
A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he is going, he replies,
I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year. AAAAAAHHHHHH, What a riot !
Viagra
"If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your electrician."
Spoons
For all of you who frequent restaurants and understand the need for the service to be faster, this short story is a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organization.
Last week, we took some friends out to Pierre's restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well', he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.
'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen, instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same sort of string hanging from their flies.
So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, cer tainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm also mentioned they had found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.'
I asked 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered , 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission Don't Do It!
(5) LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").
(8) WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying **** YOU!
(9) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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take this advise you men!!!!!
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Pfizer announcement
The Pfizer Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. If you don't send this to five old friends right away there
ha ha
Geez oldman. When are going to retire...
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Quote from: georg ruf jr. on December 11, 2008, 06:28:39 AM
Geez oldman. When are going to retire...
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image201 shutface
Parrot
A parrot walks into a drugstore and asks for some chapstick. The pharmacists asks the parrot how he is going to pay for it, to which the parrot replies, "just put it on my bill."
:emot112_2:
For Pet Lovers
Friends
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The
man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly
occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking
beside him had been dead for years. He wondered
where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone
wall along one side of the road. It looked like
fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight..
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent
gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and
the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and
the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he
saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where
are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water
brought right up.'
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?'
the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the
road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill,
he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that
looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning
against a tree and reading a book.
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an
old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself,
and then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the
man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the
road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would
leave their best friends behind.'
Soooo.....Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding
jokes to us without writing a word.
Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess
what you do?? You forward jokes!
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you
forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and
don't know how...you forward jokes.
Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what
you get?
You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!!!
:emot112_2:
Thanks Snr, keep them comming in 2009.
A SHORT LOVE STORY
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow, that's a great idea!'" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own f**king blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
The End
laughpoint
Single vs. Engaged vs. MARRIED!!
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!"
The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story!
When my fiance got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!"
The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.I finished it o off with a black mask.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?
laughpoint Excellent!!!!
Old men may walk slow BUT they think F A S T
An elderly man in Queensland , Australia had owned a large property for several years.
He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees.
The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a ten litre bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or make you get out of the dam naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'
Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can sure think fast
Julius Malema meets with Nelson Mandela. He asks him, "Mr President,
how did you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says Mandela, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Malema frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really
intelligent?"
Mandela takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."
Mandela pushes a button on his intercom. "Please send Thabo Mbeki in here, would you?"
Thabo Mbeki walks into the room. "Yes, my President?"
Mandela smiles. "Answer me this, please, Thabo. Your mother and Father have a child.
It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Thabo Mbeki answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says Mandela.
Back in Luthuli House , Malema asks to speak with ANC president Zuma.
"Answer this for me. Your mother and your Father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says Zuma. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Zuma goes to his advisors and asks everyone, but none can give him an answer.
Finally, he ends up at the COPE meeting and bumps into Terror Lekota.
Zuma looks around to see if anyone can overhear them whisper, "Terror!
Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Terror whispers back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Zuma smiles and says "Thanks!"
Zuma goes back to Luthuli House to speak with the youth leader. "Say, I did some
research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Terror Lekota."
Malema gets up, stomps over to Zuma, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Thabo Mbeki!
"Anger Control "
Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet...
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your Toothbrush....
Its better to check out the content before usage !!!
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed."
The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma
"where's Mom and Dad?"
and she replied "they're still up in bed."
Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went
out to play.
Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked
his grandma
"where's Mom and dad"
and his grandmother replied
"they're still up in bed."
The little boy started to laugh
and his grandmother asked,
"what gives?
Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?"
The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my
bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue by mistake."
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her
right away.
She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.
One morning they were lying by the pool when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel, and was hardly out of breath.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No," she said, "I was a prostitute in Vereeniging, but I worked both sides of the Vaal Dam."
BANNED FROM WAL-MART... Could also be in O/M Spar
This is why women should not take
men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted
that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart . Unfortunately, like most
men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife is
like most women - she loved to
browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local
Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your
husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the
store. Our complaints against Mr.
Samsel are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks
in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato
juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee
and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service
Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET
FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the
camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they
would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if
they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people
just leave me alone?'
more...
9. September 4: Looked right into
the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling
guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the
store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible'
theme.
12. October 6: In the auto
department, he practiced his '
Madonna look' by using different
sizes of funnels.
13. October 18 : Hid in a clothing
rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21 : When an
announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not
least ..
15. October 23 : Went into a fitting
room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here!'
A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asked him, 'Are you allergic to anything?
He replied, 'yes - caffeine'.
Have you ever been in the military service?
'Yes,' he replied.' I was in Iraq for two years.'
The interviewer said, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment. Then he asked, are you disabled in any way?'
The guy said, 'Yes.... a roadside bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.'
The interviewer said O.K. - You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. and plan on starting @ 10:00 A.M. every day.
The guy puzzled asks, 'if the work hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me here at 10?
'This is a government job,' the interviewer said. 'For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that!'
I-T-O sorriso2
Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him.
A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round in the break room. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"
The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am.
He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately. The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay.
She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed!
Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week. She smiled and said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."
The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!
In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her.. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally she showed up.
This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play; it was hard to keep a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!
Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple of beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"
The lady blushed and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth.
Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his "you-know-what" was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed and if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.
Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"
She said, "Then I'm fifteen minutes late."
A man went into an urologist and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect.
The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could actually do for him. However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephants trunk into his 'old fella'.
The man thought about it for a while. The thought of having to go through life without sex was too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.
A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment. As a result he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town. In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his knob sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers.
His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said, 'That was incredible! can you do that again?'
With tears in his eyes he replied, 'I think I can, but I am not sure if another crusty bread roll will fit up my arse!!'
laughpoint
How the economic stimulus works
Young Barry in Illinois bought a horse from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news... the horse died."
Barry replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Barry said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Barry said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"
Barry said, "Yes, I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Barry and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Barry said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Barry said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Barry now works for the government.
A Little Irish Humor
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when
Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops
dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other
five continue playing standing up.
Finally Michael O'Conner looks
around and asks, "Well me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who
will it be?" They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They
tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any
worse.
"Discreet," says Paul, "I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll
ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."
Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs.
Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.
Gallagher declares, "Your
husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop
dead", says Murphy's wife. "I'll go tell him." says Gallagher.
23_146_26
From a quiz show
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.
Q. If your are going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A.. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
give you a gesture you'll never forget..
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A.. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
image201 image201
Excellent Daddy G! ha ha
I hope this joke is OK its ADULT ape but nothing bad :wow1:
One thing about blokes from Oz is that their hearts and humour are always in the right place!
T. B. Bechtel, a City Councillor from Newcastle, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.
His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. BoomSmilie_anim
HIS STATEMENT:
'If hooking up one raghead terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camelshagger will save just one Australian life, then I have only three things to say,'
'Red is positive,
Black is negative, and
Make sure his nuts are wet.' 202
Condom factory burns down in N.Z.
Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland is awoken at 4am by the telephone.
Hillen, its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!!
I've just received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklnd hs burned to the ground.
It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week!
PM: 'SHUT!!! - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted bebies - w'ill be ruined!!'
Hilth Munister: 'We're going to hef to shup some in from....Brutain?'
PM: 'No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!!'
Hilth Munister: 'What about Australia ?'
PM: 'I'll call Kevin Rudd - tell hum we need one million condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck!!
That way they'll continue to respect the all blacks!'
Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms;
10 enches long; 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold. With small writing on each one...
MADE IN AUSTRALIA
- SIZE: MEDIUM rooster
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a
glass of champagne.
The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass
of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I
am celebrating.'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the
woman.
''What a coincidence!' said the farmer.
As they clinked glasses he added, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my
gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years
all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized
eggs.'
'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, 'What a coincidence'.
ha ha image201 image201
rooster rooster rooster rooster
Hi3
-ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND---
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow
older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same
quality of house keeping as when they were younger. When
you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitive woman.
My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation
with my wife, Terri. When I retired a few years ago, it
became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with
her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health
benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working,
I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get
home from the golf club about the same time she gets home
from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time
and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I
generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating
out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub
when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as
we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit
on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times
each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she
really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to
get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the
monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take them
for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.
I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That
way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that
missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any
(if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my
strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more
rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only
half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass
of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And,
as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support
Terri. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is
easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating
women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you
just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it
was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to
help each other.
Signed
Jim
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on February 7 of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway
extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed
up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and
a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Terri was arrested
and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10
minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that
Jim, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on
his golf club..........................................................................
allgood Lipstick in School
According to a news report, a certain private school in Cape Town was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers.... and then there are educators... 202
image201 ha ha
That was effective woo_hoo
3d smiles (288)
Love Story
I will seek and find you . .
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished
with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot! BoomSmilie_anim
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?'asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man,in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound,horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ' Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'
Hi3 George I have this one for you................Frank
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
'Oh no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She then administered a very tender and artful massage for several minutes and then asked, 'How does that feel?
He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.' 202
202
Hey Frank. You should start your own joke topic. Your jokes always get me laughing. Keep it up.
cheers
laughpoint 23_11_61
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale fantasy-18
Once upon a time, a man asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the man lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. rooster
bravo laughpoint
rooster
MORNING EXCITEMENT
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and
toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, 'You've got
to make love to me this very moment!'
My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going
to be my lucky day!'
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all;
right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still
around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?
She explained, 'The egg timer's broken' woo_hoo
Gotta post more Frank, great stuff...... image201
motorbike
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.
'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' 164 I-T-O
So he tied her up and went golfing. allgood
bravo laughpoint image201
This musta been Paula......
woo_hoo image201 laughpoint
Two Little Kids in Hospital baby baby
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jelly and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid replies, "A circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid answers.
Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born.
Couldn't walk for a year.......... image031
Here is a good tip for your sunburn!!!!............................... image04
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible
sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was
in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding
with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,
'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll
keep the sheets off his legs.'...................................................... giverose allgood
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
'What a Great chest you have!' ape
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says,'What massive calves you have!' affe-red
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the
apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches
up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that. rooster
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw
how short the fuse was!' catmusic
one of those days....A joke
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding.
Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay.
I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that more...heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."
Hi3 Good one George ................Thought they had dried up.... image031
Well the one I have started (ON A LIGHTER NOTE) we can do the Abbot and Costello WHO'S ON FIRST............Frank................ yesno