A nice humour filled article .. on the big experiment happening next week!
Turn out the lights
02/09/2008 10:27 - (SA)
David Moseley
On the 10th of September some insanely intelligent nutters on the French-Swiss border, somewhere near Geneva, will fire up a piece of Star Wars wizardry called the Large Hadron Collider (or the LHC if you prefer abbreviations).
The R60bn-plus piece of machinery is the world's largest particle accelerator complex and clever chaps in Europe hope to discover more about the creation of the universe by pressing the "on" button next Wednesday.
Forgive me, but I'm in Edinburgh, and the only newspaper I could get my hands on was the Scottish Sun, so in between 33 pages devoted to the Rangers vs Celtic derby match from Sunday, this is about as moving as the news gets here. That and news that the Celtic goalkeeper has been on drinking and shagging binges behind his wife's back. Seriously, that was page four.
Anyway, the Sun describes the LHC actions as thus, "New particles of matter are expected to be discovered, new dimensions found beyond the four known, as scientists re-create conditions in the first billionths of a second after the Big Bang." The best part of the story, naturally in a paper of the Sun's constituency, is the headline "End of the World in Nine Days". I love it.
Hole-in-one
Opposing scientists are concerned that the LHC will create mini-black holes (you know, those things in Star Trek where all the bad stuff happens or, more scientifically, hungry space monsters that gobble up stars, space dust, unmanned flights to Mars, Ziggy Stardust and planets in other galaxies). These dissenters, ("Philistines!" shout the LHC-tinkering scientists from across the room) think the mini-black holes will expand and suck the planet into the 45th Dimension in an instant. "We'll never know unless we try!" bellow back the mangy, wild-eyed Germans, French, Swiss and Wouter Basson in the dimmed corner.
But hey, in an age where the Bok coach compares himself and his situation to the plight of Jesus and Hurricanes seem intent on wiping out New Orleans, what harm can a little particle acceleration do?
At worst it proves that our existence really was created by a rather large and expansive firecracker, and at best it acts like a gigantic (and pricey) Ouija board summoning the creator from his slumber and putting scientists out of their misery the world over.
Still, if the LHC does go mental and creates many mini and unstable black holes, we'll never know it happened. So in light of the end of the world, according to the Scottish Sun mind you, where the second biggest story in the paper is a pictorial about Vladimir Putin shooting tigers (it did have George on the collar), I suggest using the next nine days as a bit of a goof off.
Make a list
I'm already overseas ploughing away my credit card's Rands into British tourism and the funds for Team GB's 2012 success, so the sense of adventure is already there. I get back on the 8th, so that gives me two days to keep my girlfriend locked up indoors, ushering in the end of the world in fine style. In the meantime I'm just going to carry on drinking my way through the UK's pale ales (27 varieties so far). It's like paying your TV license. It's the right thing to do.
Other things to do before the world ends:
# Protest on a dinghy alongside a Japanese whaling boat.
# Go to Brighton for the day (I don't really have a choice here. My mom is making me go tomorrow).
# Buy space suits ($34 on Ebay) just in case the black hole sends you to the moon.
# Ask the pilot if you can fly the plane home for a wee bit. I'm definitely asking the nice BA guy on Sunday night.
# Turn out the lights.
I for one would love to know what results they'll get. Just think, all our physics/chemistry books might be changed, and they might just prove that Albert Einstein was a nutter after all and sucked his relativity theory from his thumb, and that Galileo's apple bounced a little harder on his head than originally thought! image061
Regarding mini-black-holes - there's a solution for all the waste we create on the planet - just dump it in the black hole!
Can't wait! msn emoticon (9)
Oh, and to everybody I owe an apology before the end of the world ........ msn emoticon (68)
Ok who's for a mamoth spending spree ?? my credit cards are nice and empty so I could have quite a bit of fun .. only to discover the world is indeed not coming to an end .. and I'm so debt laden that I will make my world come to an end .. either way it will end .. cat3
Hah hah ! me not so stupid . affe-red
Is there a new date for the reunion then??
Sandy, maybe some nice ear-muffs for the doggies so they don't hear the "big bang"! 202
Georg, bought your ticket to O'mund yet - looks like we'll have to make a plan this weekend! image11a
No! No! Reunion still on, we'll just have to move it to a different corner or the universe....thats all! Not that it MATTERS!
:nono1:
Okay. That's fine to me.
Well aint I the lucky gal, I'm dead already so I have no worries, jammer om van julle k*k te hoor!!!!
8_1_220(55)
I agree Paula = sitting inTamatave in Madagascar. Doubt if they will find me here.
image201
Hey! It's almost time for everyone to say goodbye.... the big machine gets turned on today.... and fires tomorrow..... I wonder if I should bother brushing my teeth tomorrow morning?
kiss abouttime arse cl1 msn emoticon (46)
Naaa! Just give Michael and the kids a kiss and wish them a nice journey.
image14 you'd better bloodywell brush your teeth, and make the bed, and pick up the policedog-small poop!
image201
Aren't those the moments we wish our wives had Alzheimer Mike.? We could tell them everyday the world end is near just not to put the poop away....
ha ha
laughpoint image201
I must be honest i didn't really read the article you posted Mike, just glanced over it - yesterday I was reading the news on IOL and came across an article about the same thing ie. the experiment they're doing- i see part of the experiment is to determine whether there are other dimensions in the universe running parallel to ours - they've spent billions of dollars over the years getting to this point - i had a good chuckle to myself thinking "hey man, you could've saved yourself all that money, all you had to do was perfect astral travelling and you would've seen for yourselves, literally, that there are other dimensions"...... :buffo9:
Oh well, bighug to everybody...........see you when & where I see you.................
Just in case.... nice knowing ya'll. ha ha Looking forward to the news tomorrow.
Hey, I'm sure there's a parallel dimension with a bot bar where we can meet tomorrow. So if it's all dark tomorrow, and you feel you're being sucked towards the North, just hop over... see you in the Bot Bar II. :auguri1:
As they say .. " enjoy the Journey "
Fears about experiment
A key aim of the CERN experiment is to find the "Higgs boson", named after Scottish physicist Peter Higgs who in 1964 pointed to such a particle as the force that gave mass to matter and made the universe possible.
But other mysteries of physics and cosmology - supersymmetry, dark matter and dark energy among them - are at the focus of experiments in the 27km circular tunnel deep underneath the Swiss-French border.
CERN, the European Centre for Nuclear Research, says its key researchers - and many ordinary staff - have been inundated by e-mails voicing fears about the experiment.
There have been claims that it will create "black holes" of intensive gravity sucking in CERN, Europe and perhaps the whole planet, or that it will open the way for beings from another universe to invade through a "worm hole" in space-time.
But a safety review by scientists at CERN and in the United States and Russia, issued at the weekend, rejected the prospect of such outcomes.
"The LHC will enable us to study in detail what nature is doing all around us," Aymar, who has led CERN for five years, said in response to that review. "The LHC is safe, and any suggestion that it might present a risk is pure fiction."
'Little bangs'
Cox, from the School of Physics and Astronomy at Britain's Manchester University, was even more trenchant. "I am immensely irritated by the conspiracy theorists who spread this nonsense around," he said.
When the experiment begins soon after 09:00 (0700 GMT) on September 10, disaster scenarists will have little to work on.
In the first tests, a particle beam will be shot all the way around the LHC channel in just one direction. If all goes well, collisions might be tried within the coming weeks, but at low intensity. Any bangs at this stage, said one CERN researcher, "will be little ones".
fireworks1 I'm waiting....got my cases of wine packed and ready......
I'm clocer to it than you Diana. But the only black holes I can see are those from the quickdop and weed .
ha ha
That blerrie black hole better pitch up soon, I left the toilet seat up this morning and just to tempt fate, i left the lid of the toothpaste.....
abouttime
Just got back from fetching Caryn from school, she wasn't feeling well, took her home quickly. As she got in the car, she says to me "Mom, everyone at school's talking about these 2 atom bombs that were meant to go off at 9 this morning". She says at 9am everyone was like "Sssh" - hands to their ears listening waiting for the BoomSmilie_anim
I told her i'd heard about it and mentioned briefly what it was all about - she says "but what if the experiment goes wrong". I said to her "well my darling, the fact that we're still here says it didn't".........(unless it did and we're all floating off into that big black hole and we just don't know it yet........) fireworks1
Only "one-way" particle beam today, no little bangs today, so don't make too many plans yet, the experiment is only starting today which compares to a school project. More dangerous parts of the experimentation coming later. Might be like pouring water into a glass - bit by bit, until it overflows (BANG!)......OOPS......SLURP...... Why is it so dark all of a sudde-e-e-e-e-n.... ... .. . . . . . .
@ Michael John Alexander image14 madashell
I suggest you make your way home quickly! image16
Alzheimer can be cured???
Ohh! I'd better get out of here before Michele gets back.
Don't Panic...... I went home quickly..... Phew! That was close.....
image04
:culo1: is all I have to say to you men!
Where's the bot squad when you need them!
boob1 Boobs women(1) Vamp cowgirl
trex-073
So when's the next end of the world party ?? cat3
Are we still here or are we floating?
The next party will be while floating in the black hole. We will travel at 5 parsecs per minute, so hold on to your drink or the hole will gobble it up.
Right now we are still safe, but the next few days will be critical.
I wonder what those " Scientists " that foresee a disaster will say when all is over and back to buisiness as usual
If however they are right, well, dont worry it will take as all at once with a big bang in to the big ( small ) black hole
Any more scenarios ???
By the way, who of you has ever seen a black hole ????
Hi oldman.
thought we'd lost you on our site for a minute.
How can you ask such question during daytime. You should do so in one of the over 18 bars of the site after 22:00.
image16 I saw a few big black holes today ---------- while out on the road ------ friggen POTHOLES! Looks like craters. Seems like some experiment has gone wrong on that strip image11a
I saw them as well at this side of the world - how come you only notice those craters when your car has a big bang and you think half of the under carraige is going to be left behind...... image14
Maybe some of the millions being spent on ending the world as we know it could be used to fix the already existing black holes!!!
@ Dalene and Rhona
I see you are getting used already to those black holes on the road hammer
At least we will be prepared! weed witch-43 Rhona, if you keep hitting those potholes, your baby is going to be one bouncy little thing when he/she is born!
from news24
"Big Bang test leads to suicide
11/09/2008 12:02 - (SA)
New Delhi - An Indian teenage girl killed herself because she feared that a massive experiment to re-create the birth of the Universe would herald the end of the world, reports said on Thursday.
Chayya Lal, 16, from the central state of Madhya Pradesh, committed suicide after watching television reports on how the particle-smashing test in Geneva could bring about doomsday, Indian newspapers reported.
She swallowed unidentified tablets on Tuesday and was rushed to hospital, but doctors were unable to save her.
Chayya's parents said she had spoken of her fears about the "Big Bang" experiment.
"Chayya had asked me a number of times whether the world would end as they were saying on television," her father Bihari told the Hindustan Times.
"We tried to divert her attention and told her not to worry about any great disaster," the Mail Today quoted him as saying.
The Mail said the local police inspector had raised doubts about the reasons for Chayya's death and had vowed to investigate.
The start of the underground test on Wednesday was hailed a success after the Large Hadron Collider (LHV) designed to expose the secrets of the cosmos swung into action.
Scientists behind the project had earlier dismissed fears that it could create either a "black hole" whose super-gravity would swallow the Earth, or a theoretical particle called a strangelet that would turn the planet to goo.
When the machine is fully operational, scientists hope to fleetingly replicate conditions at the "Big Bang" that created the Universe 13.7 billion years ago. "
Strangely enough and this was a dinner conversation this evening ..I can accept my demise at whatever time it is ordained , furthermore i would hasten it by any means if i was terminal in pain , without dignity or beyond hope , although i wish I was immortal , I have peace with my creator ,but do worry about those that i would leave behind but also know that they would accept it in good time .. but to accept the demise of others close to me although i understand the course of life .. is another hard act to follow .. but yes if the world were to end tomorrow , and we all went swoosh back to atoms and remnants of intellegence floating around in the ether .. it is no more .. the world as we would have known it ... so why take ones life on the basis of what could possibly happen ??
By the way where and when is the next end of the world party ? drinking-41
I'm a little worried, there's 6 scientists from SA directly involved with the experiment.
Makes me think of my one patient, her son is a chemical engineer and just started working at the nuclear power reactor at Koeberg. She jokingly said that she doesn't think it's such a good idea, because since he was small, he always wanted to blow things up!!!!! :nono1:
This appeals to me...
"Atom smasher computers hacked
13/09/2008 13:28 - (SA)
Click here to find out more!
# Q&A: Large Hadron Collider
# Higgs: Particle will be found
# Particle test 'successful'
# Happy Big Bang Day!
# Atom-smasher set to fire up
London - Hackers claim they have broken into the computer system of the Large Hadron Collider, the mega-machine designed to expose secrets of the cosmos, British newspapers reported on Saturday.
A group calling itself the Greek Security Team left a rogue webpage mocking the technicians responsible for computer security at the giant atom smasher as "schoolkids", the Times and Daily Telegraph reported.
The hackers vowed they had no intention of disrupting the experiment at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (Cern) on the Swiss-French border, they just wanted to highlight the flaws in the computer system's security.
"We're pulling your pants down because we don't want to see you running around naked looking to hide yourselves when the panic comes," they wrote, according to the Daily Telegraph.
The hackers claimed to have gained access to a website open to other scientists on Wednesday as the LHC passed its first test with flying colours, the reports said.
They appear to have tried to gain access to the computer system of the Compact Muon Solenoid Experiment, one of the four detectors that will be analysing the progress of the experiment.
James Gillies, a spokesperson for Cern, told the Times: "We don't know who they were but there seems to be no harm done. It appears to be people who want to make a point that Cern was hackable."
Scientists hailed the success of the start of the experiment on Wednesday in the Large Hadron Collider, the 27-kilometre circular tunnel in which parallel beams of protons will be accelerated to nearly the speed of light.
Superconducting magnets will then steer the counter-rotating beams so that strings of protons smash together in four huge laboratories, fleetingly replicating the conditions that prevailed at the "Big Bang" that created the Universe 13.7 billion years ago."
Any more news on the experiment. Don't get time to read the papers and here, so keep up with the most important stuff by reading your comments.
@ Florrie
The last thing i heard was, hackers had come in to the system but have not done any harm
Then i hear they are slowing down due to computer problems
Thanks Georgswa, please let me know if you hear anything interesting.
This article talks about switching it off due to power problems
But it is to be started again
http://www.n-tv.de/1025452.html
Its stopped again.....helium leak.....had its own big bang. sorriso2
In the news
Cern is stopped for repairs until beginning next year
Do we have to raise funds??