Me left work early today .. feeling very heavy in my heart ... the story .....
This morning at about 10:30 I get a call from front gate security .. they say a Shane person wants to see me . i ask from which company .. No not from a company .. I ask in connection with a job .. No ! he just insists he must see you .. Ok me irritated , but yes I go down .. as i'm walking toward the gate I see this young man looking intently at me .. somehow i recognise him ... I introduce myself .. so he ask me " do you recognise me ? " i say yes something in my memory is doing recognition .. so he says to me voice charged with emotion and visibly shaking " yes you should you are my father , you had an affair with my mother 21 years ago "
WHOOPS !! now I know where the recognition comes from .. I ask him " is your mother Geraldine ?? " he replies Yes ...
I told him to come inside ... arranged some tea and a sarmie .. told him to wait as I had a meeting .. would be back in 15 mins or so ..
The actual story ... Geraldine was a clerk that did stats work for me years ago .. attractive intelligent , good at her job , a lot going for her only problem was a weakness for booze and choice of men , always bad , she f**ked up royally each time in choice of boyfriend or husband ..
At one stage she got married to a guy that beat her up ... he used to come to work and accuse me of haviing an affair with her .. I think the result of the fact that I had a soft spot for her broken wing syndrome ... always trying to bouy her up realise her self worth and that she was good at what she did ..
Anyhow during this period she had hectic bonk affair with one of the electricians at work ... this guy was a dog ... he was married had a beautiful wife and kids .. was having the bonk affair with the Geraldine and someone else i also knew .. i used to say " Robert how much is enough ? " he would just grin ... actually a nice guy only prob not being able to keep dick in pants and faithfull to one .. the more the merrier seemed to be his credo ..
Anyhow she while married to the bastard gave birth to a very fair haired and skinned boy .. I heard the usual shop floor skinner , but then it was her life and not mine ..
She then left this beat up wifey bastard and then got married to a total drunkard that worked for the council .. now things totally unravveled .. to the point that she lost her job .. i could protect her no more .. due disciplinary course had to take place despite being sent to rehab etc she just kept on falling down .. i had her one daughter arrive at work telling me that there was no food at home .. she and the suipgat were just lying around in stupor and throwing knives at each other .. anyhhow that was the end of Geraldine .. a sad chapter closed , a potentially good person and employee laid herself to waste ...
Anyhow i spent about an hour with this young man of 21 talking .. very aware of him looking me over carefully ... checking me .. am i lying .. meanwhile heres me looking at him and seeing the combination of his mother and father .. a fine specimen ... but so broken ...and yes emotional .. his intent was today to come and confront the father " where have you been for the last 21 years ? "
STORY .. he was abandoned by his mom at 1 years old , ended up with an aunt and eventually foisted off to the nasty beat up ex husband as his kid during the ended marriage .. ( now you see where the affair story came from ? blonde blue eyes man .. and he had to look after this poisened fruit ?? ) well his story is one of abuse ) obviously the "wicked stepfather" told him that his mother was having an affair with me .. anyhow as he explained he very truthfully told me he felt directionless ..got into wrong company , even ended up doing housebreak crime ... OUCH ! ...
I ahd to tell him who his father was and his shennaigans ... and yes that his father is no more , died of a heart attack 12 years ago .. also I gave him the truth about his biological father ..
A true bird of broken wing and not of his making .. all I could offer was closure re his father .. his mom currntly in hospital organ failure from years of alcohol abuse .. also i have contacted members of his family including his mothers brother who works for me .. asked him to despite any misgivings try to integrate him into their fold .. I'm sure that LOVE will help heal ...
I gave him some cash and my cell # keep in contact .. even if you just want to talk .. I will try within my abilities to see what I can do vis employment ( hopes not high but nothing ventured nothing gained ?? hey )
His closing words were " I'm sorry to have wasted you valuable time " my reply was to the effect " No you were courageous enough to try and confront one of your demons .. what you ahve is closure and someone who will see if he can do anything totry help undo the damage , thats important "
Aah ! I'm so hurt inside at hearing this . and yes as Diana said we wish we could just all make it right .. but then again we not fantasy-18 godmothers ... i dont know if I have put across what happened today properly but there it is in its whole ...
Another reason for gratitude .. whenever anyone of us thinks they been done a shit deal .. hey this young mans story is indeed a tragedy ..
Bloody hell - and here was I thinking I was having a bad day - image031
That poor guy has spent the last how many years of his life living a lie within a living hell - Sandy, you truley are an angel, you could so easily of told him to p*ss off as many others would; but no - you took him in and helped him the best you could with the addition of your cell number to call you if things ever got too much bighug to you my friend.
@ Sandy - I want to echo what Rhona said. If YOU were not part of the whole picture here, who knows what direction the poor child would have taken today? Just knowing there's somebody who didn't throw him away must have meant a lot. I agree, Sandy, you're better than a fairy godmother, you're an angel! I hope your heart feels lighter soon as it is filled with compassion and love! 23_11_61
Rhona me still sidelined .. and yes shedding tears for this young man .. I will phone his mothers brother again tonight .. he owes me favour for helping him and wife through their daughters drug problem ( lots of sound advice that got them through the crisis ) he must now be as strong as the personal time and 24hrs advice i gave ... a sort of passing of the gift on if one may term it as so ... he not my family , but yes his job now is to embrace and give love and support to this young man that summoned up the courage ...
Yes Hon and we should be in eternal gratitude for for what we got ... wild but yes good parents ...
I now need a good nap to try shed this fug ...
Sad story Sandy
I guess you got yourself a step son now.
Built him up as you can. Its all not his fault. Wish you good luck, at first i thought its your son, was a bit unclear to me and i thought of Berties remark the other day, no kids that he knows off
You must know what really transpired thoes days....
No Georg , my writings are clear on that one , the father is the bonkbeast .. and he understands it , I explained my life to him .. I will just be watcher and listener .. call in favours ... see what the collective of good thoughts and intent can do ...
I understood at second reading only, its no joke at all what happened today, very sad.....
Good Job Sandy, You will have given this young chap hope, and perhaps a friendship.... the right kind, not some criminal induced way of life...... It will take time. though....
bravo
Again .. what I been echoing over the last few days ... Folks .. let us be in gratitude .. we had the best ... and may we never be blind to those that have had the cards stacked against them ... Time for my nap and try release some of this hurt i was feeling throughout the conversation .. its like beestings ..
Hell man whats worse .. I'm supposed to be meeting Florrie and Hubbie tonight .... although they have not phoned me ..and me fragile at moment .. but then again .. Mothers words " stiff upper lip " ... just want quietness ...
Sandy - all I can say is that it's a great pity there aren't more people in the world like you!
3d smiles(281)
bighug
Well I had my nap ,, a few good scotches beforehand while writing this story and then sweet slumber .. woke up feeling better .. I done what was within my power at the moment .. went down the road for a good steak ..and relax , just back in .. and now an early night ... I hope my further conversation with mothers brother helps get something moving .... as i said reintegrate with known family .. but yes I'm there to talk to if really necessary ...
Sandy, you're the best 3d smiles(281) I think this poor lad knows that if he needs some sound advice or just someone to talk to, he can come to you. We all need that special someone in our lives.
Sandy, this broken bird was lead by wise unseen forces to your doorstep........thank goodness he didn't resist otherwise he wouldn't have found his guardian angel waiting for him. As painful as it must've been for him to hear the truth about his father, within that knowing lies the seeds of healing. Your kindness and just being there for him will be his guiding light. As Rhona said, you could've turned your back on him saying "not my problem" but you didn't..............you will be richly blessed. Why can't there be lots more Sandy's in the world?????
23_11_61 bighug
Good news , just spoke to his uncle who works for me .. it appears he being integrated into their family , he had a long talk with Rashaad and wants desperately to get his life on track , amazing how they all only lived 15 k's apart and a human tragedy plays itself out on one side ... but yes good news , I hope the best happens for him ..
3d smiles(281)
Sandy, I hope this kid realises how lucky he is to have found you. You are an absolute star!!!
woo_hoo That is brilliant news.....keep us up to date. :emot112_2:
Good news, Sandy! I hope you realize that YOU had a big part to play in this hopefully happy ending!
@ Sandy - that's the bestest news i've had all day - just shows, goodness prevails, even in the darkest corners......i truly hope and pray all works out for him.......we all deserve a chance in life to prove who we can be under the right circumstances........if it wasn't for you, he might not have had that chance. Awesome stuff........
bravo
Stories like this is what makes me question God's existence. That poor child had all the odds stacked against him from the moment he was conceived. Life is not fair.
Update ... the young man is bonding with the other side of his family .. Rashaad is now working on getting the boys mother to come to the party although she still has a drink and man problem .. she must face up to her son and forgive herself and ask him to forgive her .. apparently as long as the "Granny" the mother of the beat up wifey ex husband was alive he was well looked after it was only after she shuffled off the mortal coil that the real trouble started .. Rashaad now wants to get him out of kensington .. thats where his bad friends are .. I have told Rashaad to pass on to him that he did the right thing .. he now has some closure .. and that I believe he can only go forward from here ... cross fingers it all pans out for the good ...
Florrie .. yes Gods existence we doubt when we see and hear such things .. but then if that person with help when he is ready , from others that believe in a divine force overcomes the adversity I believe the creator is indeed at work .. cos if this young man gets on his feet he will pass on the gift again at some or other time ..
I recall my good friend David when he went to India questioned his God .. He is a Roman Catholic Deacon he asked when he got back " where is this " merciful God " that I help preach about .. he was in trouble for daring to question .. I talked to him a lot .. and got him to accept that not everybody can be wealthy or poor or in the middle .. its the hard fact of life we have to face up to .. I have difficulty with established religions viewpoints , but then I take comfort in my own personal belief system ..
look to yourself . have you conquered adversity in your life ?? I believe you ahve by your own faith in yourself , that to me is your own deep understanding of your creator or God within you that you recognise in your own way .. keep that faith and all will always be reasonably ok ... Trust me on that one ..
Thanks for that Sandy but I am the one of little or no faith, wish I had faith, might make me less angry at the world but somehow, as much as I would like to believe in a merciful, loving God,I cannot. I feel if I have to thank him for the good then I have to thank him for the bad and in the world today there is more bad than good. I honestly feel that God doesn't exist and neither does the devil. Good and evil exists in all of us, we only have ourselves to blame or thank for the bad and the good in the world.
Believe you me Florrie .. you have faith .. learn to accept that , as you have without realising accepted the good and bad in life and yes made your own difference .. its all around you ..
3d smiles(281)
There you go .. we count our blessings instead of counting sheep , and thereby we give ourselves a good nights peaceful sleep ..
Update .. the young man still holding on .. and yes trying to make a difference in his life ... odds stacked .. so what .. with knowing that there is indeed support and your own will to make a difference ... he slowly getting there .. hold thumbs ...
I know this is an old thread .... but yes I have news ,, not good ,,, the young man over all this time hung onto my cell # ,,, seems he drifted off again , got into wrong company and trouble again ... phoned me from jail ,, seems all the cards are stacked , but yes one has the ability to excersise choice ,, seems he making the wrong choices ... all I have done is told the family whats happened ... i can do nothing here ,,, its their flesh and blood and they must rally ...
Sorry to hear. Yes, at some stage he has to take responsibility for his actions/choices... there's only so much you can do to support. Hope a lesson in jail helps him towards the right track... msn emoticon (68)
I fear that Jail might not always have the result that is expected and can quite often bring out the worst in a person, though I hope that I am wrong in this case........
Sad story Sandy but did yourself proud the way you handled the situation. God will Bless You!!!!!
This is such a sad sad story...it brought me to tears image031. I hope that one day our kids realise just how lucky they are growing up in a loving and stable home.
Sandy, good on you for supporting this poor boy. You are truely a good person and you did the right thing. God bless!