As a consultant for a social networking club, I thought I'd share a few thoughts with you..........
What women really want:
By Belinda Brown.
What do women want from men? Time, babies, and the moon on a string. The list could go on forever, and there are probably as many different answers as there are women. But, after scrutinising the opposite sex for an observation period lasting my entire adult life, and consulting with members of my distinguished coven, I have drawn up this list of friendly hints under the working title "George, don't do that, but please do this".
Ask Me Questions: Over dinner, in a restaurant, nothing beats a good question or two. It doesn't really matter what you ask, though "How was your day?" is generally better than "What's your name again?"
Stop Asking Questions: After you have asked enough questions, particularly the right ones, there will come a time when you should stop - when you're in bed together. "Do you mind awfully if I undo your bra?" is not sexy. The only appropriate questions are "Is that nice?" and its cognates.
Call Me Back Straight Away: It's sure. It's decisive. It's polite. Verbose, over-worked SMSes just look keen and girly. Be a man and say it in 350 characters or don't say it at all. *Some text missing* isn't hot. Neither are emoticons. Many a blossoming relationship has been killed stone dead by them.
Don't Be Tight: When it comes to small change, taxi fares, coffee money, tips and treats, penny-pinching is a huge turn off. That said, extreme generosity early on in a relationship is scary. Lobster is for anniversaries, not the first date.
Carry My Bags: If they're heavy, please don't make a fuss about it, just do it. Low-key chivalry and high forearm extensor strength are both good. Door opening can turn into a bit of a silly gavotte ("You first!", "No, you!"), but spontaneous case-carrying works every time.
Don't Hide Your Appreciation: There is no girl alive who doesn't want praise for a new dress. Obviously the problem with involuntary physical responses is that they are involuntary, but should you find yourself, so to speak, engaged by her new outfit, then why not let her know? (This only applies to couples. Note: most of these hints, if misapplied, could result in a prison sentence, so do only try them at home.)
"No" to: Clammy hands, grunting in public, salivating into earholes, "sexy" tickling, jokes about love handles and twanging bras.
"Yes" to: A firm touch and a smooth hand, a frank attitude to nudity (that is, can walk to the bathroom without embarrassment), evident and matter-of-fact carnal enjoyment, and an attentive approach to often overlooked areas of the female body – i.e., there is more to me than just the rude bits, okay?
Talk about ex-girlfriends: Go carefully. Too much detail and we will assume you are still hung up on them. Blanket silence and we'll assume the same. We are best satisfied with a fond little anecdote that puts her in a slightly bad light. Don't slag her roundly, however, or we will conclude that you're not quite a gentleman.
Criticism: Say what you like about my friends, my work, my flat, my table manners: go ahead and give 'em hell. I won't mind much. But my body is perfect in every way, right? Right.
And Finally: The three golden words. King Arthur's knight Gawain was sent off on a quest to find out the answer to the riddle of what women wanted, but after schlepping up and down Ye Olde High Street, he had a head-scrambling number of contradictory replies, from "kindness" to "Jimmy Choos" (or the early medieval equivalent, probably "cat gut clogs"). Finally, he bumped into a loathly lady in a magic wood who whispered three words in his ear. (I think he had to marry her first - there may be a lesson there.) Anyway, the lady may have been loathly but her words hold true today. All a woman really wants? "Her own way."
The other side of the coin............
Ten best ways a woman can impress a man
By Belinda Brown
Some men are quite happy to tell the world what women can do to impress them. The Internet is full of such unguardedness. Type, "what I look for in a woman" into Google, and you'll see what I mean. Here are 10 findings, every one genuine.
Personality: Ah yes, good one. Personality. A woman with personality. Who could possibly object? I mean, at the end of the day, women are people, aren't they? Aren't they? So why shouldn't they have a personality? We can allow them that, I think. But not to be confused with "sense of humour".
Sense of Humour: Excellent spot. We men like a good laugh. And we don't even mind if it's a woman who's cracking the jokes. Yup, we're that broad-minded. Just so long as our girlfriends laugh at all our jokes. Especially the ones they've heard 100 times before.
'Did the earth move for you, darling?'
Honesty: Very important. When a man asks his other half what time dinner will be on the table, he wants an honest answer. Say 8pm when you mean 8.30pm and there could be hell to pay. And when he asks, "Did the earth move for you, darling?" complete candour is required. "Yes" is the word you're looking for.
Someone Easy-Going Who Doesn't Obsess With Her Body: Obsessive behaviour: Not good. Go easy, darling. Relax a bit. There, that's better.
Intelligence: Quite a finding, eh? Never let it be said that we men are only interested in women's bodies. We want their brains too! Can you believe it? The brighter the better! When a man sits down to watch University Challenge he wants someone he can test himself against on the sofa next to him. That's you, sweetheart.
Feminity (sic), Kindness, Being Lovely, Charming, Being Able to Cope with her Beauty (Some Women Can't): There's quite a lot to unscramble here. But I think that the most important point to make is that this is a man who is so caught up in his dream woman that he has quite forgotten to use the spell check. Disastrous. But that's dream women for you. Don't be too unattainable, okay? Everyday loveliness will more than suffice. You can cope with that, can't you?
She Must be Somewhat Attractive, Athletic, Fun: I know what you're asking. You're asking, "How attractive is 'somewhat' attractive?" It's a good question. But only you can really decide. Just make sure you're "somewhat" enough, okay? Then there's "athletic". The Olympic effect, I call it. Rebecca Adlington, Rebecca Romero, Nicole Cooke, you have a lot to answer for. We men now want girlfriends with gold-medal potential. Not too much to ask, is it?
One with a Non-Pretentious Smile but with Fire in her Eyes: You women are going to have to practise this one in front of the mirror. Cut down on make-up time and it should still be possible to hit town on a Friday night with your facial features arranged in the required manner. Remember, no man will go near you if your smile isn't non-pretentious enough.
Consistency: Most men support some sporting team. They like that team to be consistent. Seven unbeaten is good. One defeat in 12 is okay too. This is what the consistency thing is all about, and it's a term of high praise where men come from. Girlfriends who don't let in too many goals have a bright future. But if you've followed the rule about being athletic you shouldn't find it a problem.
And Please.....only talk during the ad breaks!!