A friend of mine is dying.
I have known him for nearly 40 years. He was a policeman in Swaziland and I met him in 1970 when I went on holiday from Oranjemund and decided to visit Swaziland. I met him in Mbabane where he was having a few days off. He was actually based near Siteki close to the Mozambique border and only got to town on a few occasions. He moved to Australia in 1980 and I caught up with him and renewed our friendship when I got here in 1983. He had retired to a beautiful spot called Beauty Point just east of Launceston in Tasmania, with a house overlooking out over the Tamar River. Those of you that know the place will know what I mean. Those who don't know; look it up on Google. It is a magical spot that is now being threatened with the potential building of a huge paper pulp mill, which fortunately doesn't look like going ahead due to public opposition.
He started having heart problems about 10 years ago and had a pacemaker fitted. But his heart is failing. Fast. About six months back he was told that he only had at moat a year or so to live and that there was nothing that could be done. All the years of smoking, hard drinking and fast living had taken its toll on his body and it had said 'Enough'.
A friend of mine is dying. And it's not pleasant to see. Here was this strong, tough and brawny ex-cop slowly shrivelling and withering away. Whereas before he could run down a thief or offender, now he can barely walk. All he could do was sit in a chair and watch the world - and his life - pass by. His heart is failing as well as his kidneys and fluids are accumulating in parts of his body and its agony. He's on a dialysis machine and taking so much drugs and pills that his system is a mess. There's nothing noble about death. It's not something that we want to think about too much. There's grief, fear and anxiety. So now at 65 he has very little time left.
A friend of mine is dying. He's been admitted to the intensive care unit in the Launceston General Hospital. I will be taking the 3½ hour drive up from Hobart to Launceston in the next few days to see him, probably for the last time. I spoke to his wife on the phone this morning and it doesn't look good. No longer will I will look at his large library of African books that he has collected over the years. Nor will I will admire his paintings and sketches of the African veldt. He always loved Africa and his soul will probably always be there.
No longer will we will sit and drink a few glasses of red wine over dinner and talk about 'die ou dae' and pretend that nothing has changed. When I see him we won't talk about the future nor what is the present. All these things will remain unsaid. But we will both know. I am fortunate to have a real friend. They are so damn hard to come by in our fast, rather shallow modern world. Perhaps the nature of friendship is shared or common interests. Perhaps it's a feeling of ease and comfortableness and relaxation. I don't really know. But at least I can rejoice that I have known him.
But a friend of mine is dying. And I am sad because the world will be a much poorer place with his passing.
Malcolm
Your post resonates Malcolm; a poignant and beautifully written tribute to your friend and your friendship.
In the past month, I have lost two friends - mercifully quickly (for them not me) since mid-December. One to cancer and the other yesterday in a car accident. I have been blessed that they were both in my life albeit for too short a time.
Treasure the time you have left with your friend and my thoughts are with you.
Malcolm - thinking of you and your friend during this time.
Cherry - also sorry to hear about your losses.
Malcolm I can only echo Cherry's words .. facing loss whether prepared or not is never easy , and never gets easier . The only hope is to be able to process and deal with it better each time ...
In our thoughts ... Sandy
Thinking of you, hoping that inner peace and strength will be with you and your families.
very sad news indeed. None of us know the time and place when we are called to higher service. Lot's of support to all of you and I am sure your friends that are gravely ill and their relatives value and treasure your enduring and supportive friendship during this very trying time. Life is so damn short and the pace of modern life so hectic and stressful and the usual regret is that we do not spend more time with our friends and family. When they're gone, they're gone and all that remains are the memories. Go and give your friends and family all a nice big hug next time you see them.
Peace to you all.
Malcolm / Cherry et al , I can only empathise. We all lose friends aquaintances and loved ones and our lives and the world is poorer for their passing.
Watching someone slowly fade is as terrible as one lost suddenly in an accident. All we can do is live in the moment, expecting nothing more and being greatfull when those moments turn into hours, days, weeks, months and years. Live each to the full and let those around you know how much you cherish them.
If you are thinking of someone, give them a call, chances are they were thinking about you or need someone to talk to. You may be supprised how often this turns out to be true.
Share your feelings, there are lots of us out here willing to listen and understand.
Hi everyone
Just to let everyone know that my friend is still hanging in there. He is still in intensive care and they are trying to get his kidneys functioning again, but still havent had much luck. He is very weak and they are trying everything they can even though he is very weak. It seems he will stay in hospital indefinitely.
His wife remains hopeful although realistic.
He cant have visitors yet, so I cant go and see him. Hopefully in the next few weeks.
Malcolm
Holding thumbs for you all on this side of the earth........
Have just come back from Botswana, catching up on the news:
Maclolm, I trust and pray your friend is still holding in there. ( You guys are in my prayers)