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GENERAL DISCUSSIONS! => The Joke Corner for all => Topic started by: barb (Fry) on August 21, 2007, 07:26:04 PM

Title: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on August 21, 2007, 07:26:04 PM
Funny as f-ck but its genuine, welcome to the age of health and safety, in the UK
I saved this article recently -

You cant be A,B,  serious........


a) bournemouth - local council - banned arm bands from a local pool as they were considered dangerous due to the transfere of infection through the air nozzle.
b) barmaids EU - an attempt to ban them from wearing skimpy tops to prevent them getting sunburned while serving drinks outdoors
c) conkers - traditional playground game banished as it is deemed too dangerous.
d) dinner - Camden councillors banned traditional barbeques at a fete in case of accident.
e) ear plugs - the MoD ordered all band members to wear ear plugs to prevent former soldiers taking legal action claiming their hearing had been impaired.
f) fireman poles - banned as fireman may chaffe their hands and thighs using them
g) guy fawkes - Ilfracombe Rugby club banned traditional bonfire night
h) hanging baskets - suffork councillors turfed them out in case they fell from lamp posts and injured the public.
i) intimacy - Callington Community College, Cornwall, head teacher ordered pupils to stop hugging each other, as "victims" could be hugged against their will
j) jump - council of Fife, banned bouncy castles because of number of kids who injure themselves.
k) kite - Fylde council banned stunt kites after a member of public was injured
l) loo roll holder - Sheffield civil service chiefs - ordered staff to take care during lav breaks due to germs lurcking on bathroom furnishings
m) mistletoe - a union guide adviced managers not to place mistletoe in case it encouraged sexual harassment at christmas parties
n) nursery -  nursery staff banned from administering plasters to children in case of allergic reactions
o) obesity - trolleys and lifting equipment must be used by pall bearers to carry heavy corpses in case they injure themselves
p) playing football - Leicestershire councillors banned footie and kickabouts which are a danger to public and offenders are fined £100
q) qualified BBC staff are banned from changing light bulbs, call in qualified staff for the job, cost £10 a bulb
r)  race - Shoreham East Sussex, axed a bath tub race held every year for 35 years for charity due to concerns over safety
s) sling shot - catapults can now only be sold as part of fishing tackle, in case anyone is hurt with one
t) tea and toast - Rotherham, playgroup moms banned from serving tea and toast in case of scalds and burns
u) uniform - Stockport, head teacher ordered pupils to wear clip on ties to avoid strangulation
v) veterans - North Yorkshire - old soldiers not allowed to march unless they had public liability insurance and organised stewards in fluorescent jackets to police the event
w) water - half of school children banned from playing with water in case it becomes contaminated
x) x ray - students to go through metal detectors to ensure they are not carrying weapons
y) yo yo - two cautious head teachers banned these dangerous toys
z) zzzz - fireman are allowed 3 hour rest during 15 hour night shift but are forbidden from nodding off in case it causes an accident when responding to a 999 

Ok then and on that note I best stop staring at the screen and typing as it could cause strain.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 09, 2007, 07:30:07 PM
I'm most disapointed about fireman not using poles anymore
another fantasty dashed
do you think they rebuild all depot to be one storey, cos surely running down stairs is more dangerous..........................
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 11, 2007, 03:01:06 PM
Tee Hee Diana

Seems like you're not the only one into poles.. allgood
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 11, 2007, 08:00:13 PM
Sharp Debbie Sharp beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 11, 2007, 08:02:27 PM
 :emot19:

Diana what is this pole dancing about......
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 11, 2007, 08:17:17 PM
No need to roll around laughing Barbara.I wanted Debbie to take pole dancing lessons with me.Thought it a cool idea at our age. beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 11, 2007, 08:21:37 PM
I think it is a good thing, will keep you off the streets
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 11, 2007, 10:17:14 PM
Now now girls . . . I will bring a pole with me to the reunion . . . :auguri1:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 12, 2007, 09:39:29 AM
Diana and Debbie :emot26:

Looks like you will have to get going and start lessons,  grab
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 12, 2007, 10:49:45 AM
Hey, when did I get dragged into this?  notfair
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 12, 2007, 02:30:51 PM
Debbie
If you lok back a few posts you will see who got you involved, she cannot do it on her own

allgood
Barbara
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 12, 2007, 05:28:09 PM
girls be careful you don't chaffe your thighs.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 12, 2007, 06:05:42 PM
 :yeah3:


Seems like we have a show to look forward to!             bravo       Keep up those lessons, never mind the thighs  -  I mean, as Keith is going to bring the pole, you cannot dissapoint him and not use it.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 12, 2007, 06:17:54 PM
Is Keith's pole gonna be big, strong and long enough, teehee

So pole dancing shoes are on the christmas list then.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 12, 2007, 09:14:42 PM
Yip them shoes are a must.I still think it's a cool idea,be it comic more than erotic.I believe there is such a thing as pole dancing parties. (like a tuperware party) Trying to get Debbie to have one.Regarding Keiths pole, well what is it they say about short men. :auguri1:   
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 13, 2007, 04:56:54 AM
hey keith. I believe these girls realy respect you. keep it going.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 13, 2007, 08:32:53 AM
And to think it all started with an innocent comment from Barbarak..."I'm most disapointed about fireman not using poles anymore,
another fantasty dashed"

Now we're on to "chafing thighs" and Keith bringing along his "short or long pole"
allgood
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 13, 2007, 09:12:42 AM
At first I didn't know what kind of pole you meant. It seemed a lot more personel. So I was wondering, why all the girls know about ...
Okay! forget it.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 13, 2007, 11:08:38 AM
 :emot19:


Well........   a lot of things start out with something innocent...........

:ciupa1:

no matter, the show must go on, and Keith must bring the pole, long or short  and everyone who got them dancing shoes for a prezzie  ---  drag along the bag (bring the white-bearded old man along if he does'nt wanna let go)   :emot33:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 13, 2007, 11:17:50 AM
and back to fireman - did you see in the original post that they are banned from nodding off during a 15 hour shift -
sounds like a 999 to me
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 13, 2007, 12:55:44 PM
Nevermind the firemen,I'm sure what ever pole Keith brings will be just cool,fine.Debbie it was you,you tee hee'd me about the pole beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 13, 2007, 03:51:38 PM
Does this mean that Keith is also not allowed to nod off ?  .........   while holding the pole  (  He he he) :36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 13, 2007, 03:56:56 PM
Excuse me. Our show will definetly keep him awake regardless of what his doing with his pole. It is his pole his bringing it after all. beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 13, 2007, 08:06:56 PM
... so it's his personal pole then after all. Sheesh!! om has changed since the 70s
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 13, 2007, 08:09:43 PM
georg nobody said anything about it being personal - maybe Keith has a mobile pole for such occasions - being a ladies man ....
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 13, 2007, 08:20:37 PM
I think in the 70's there were poles in OM also  -  must be , 'cos there were also lot'sa ladies men way back then.  Very mobile.......   the poles and the men........
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 13, 2007, 08:24:23 PM
 and from the BBC - today ----No-one is exactly sure how many Poles are here, but the City Council estimate it could be as high as 20,000.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Julie Vice (Willson) on November 13, 2007, 08:32:22 PM
and the crimes rising
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 13, 2007, 08:36:47 PM
Believe this if you might my husband is actually in the pole making business.All diameters from 63 to 90 they wooden so we may get splinters along with the chaffing.I think we'll stick to Keith's stainless steel one.Hope its not a crime


Me thinks we confusing poor Georg'y boy here. beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 13, 2007, 08:50:51 PM
or Diane - hey hello, Julie got it
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 13, 2007, 08:57:44 PM
I MAY JUST HAVE A HEADACHE :nono1:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 13, 2007, 09:11:31 PM
 don't beat yourself up honey - the poles are invading UK at the rate that you in SA experience with other african nation    :emot112:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 13, 2007, 09:15:05 PM
Ag so what's a few splinters in the thighs  -  that's compared to the hampstring strains from doing the splits? :emot19:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 16, 2007, 01:43:08 PM
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn upside-down.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (i sure hope so)

On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (no comment)

On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."(no kidding)
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michele Alexander (Voden) on November 16, 2007, 04:17:11 PM
 :emot19:



Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 17, 2007, 09:12:58 AM
Okay girls  numberone. . . settle down now . . .  Keith will be bringing :emot98: his pole to the reunion beautiful . . . it isn't stainless steel :36_2_35:, it wont give you splinters in your thighs, it will be long, it will be hard, and hot,  :caldo1: and it will be sturdy . . .  grab!!

But, it won't be cheap :nono1:!!
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 17, 2007, 09:19:06 AM
Keith , you forgot to use   :emot172:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 17, 2007, 09:22:57 AM
Yeah . . .

For all my new girlfriends . . .  :36_4_8:


And, one for the lads, who might be jealous . . .  :emot172:


Goodnight from Canada!!
Keith.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 17, 2007, 09:23:38 AM
 gnite
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 17, 2007, 09:27:26 AM
Hey boys.
I'm still confused. Remember I'm German.
Let me try. The pole is probebly alunimium with warm water runing on the inside. And Keith, I understand you intend slipping down the pole with your tongue. You believe the pole is polished enough, not to get splinters?
Is this what Canada has done to you?
Do you intend staying there for ever? You should think about it.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 17, 2007, 03:49:40 PM
Keith,Keith what do you mean charging us to use your pole.Wait till we come a dancing boobs
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 17, 2007, 04:21:11 PM
 bravo well said Diane
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 17, 2007, 08:54:03 PM
Hey Diana,

dawoman

If you come  boobs, I will be so cheap, I'll be free and ready to party discodance

BierSuip

You rock girls!!

To the guys . . .  :emot172:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 17, 2007, 08:57:46 PM
 :36_4_8:
ready to party
whoa
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 18, 2007, 06:08:04 AM
Don't forget the Zimmerframes people......

:36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 18, 2007, 05:24:36 PM
Mike... :culo1:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 18, 2007, 05:26:56 PM
You see debby, in real life you would'nt be able to do that, as you will need both your hands to hold onto your zimmerframe...

:emot19:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 18, 2007, 05:33:22 PM
You can't pole dance with a zimmerframe MICHEAL.Got a wonderful little pole dancing handbook from Debbie for my B'day.They say you don't have to have the figure of a model to make a pole dance sexy,just confidence and attitude.I do believe that one day pole dancing will become an olympic sport :sorriso2:I shall have to post weekly tips on this new sport,so you can dance yourself fit and invigorate your love life discodance
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 18, 2007, 05:39:25 PM
MICHAEL... madashell

Technically you're right, my zimmerframe looks something like THIS.. motorbike

arse

Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 18, 2007, 05:41:51 PM
I also want one of those motorbike
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 18, 2007, 05:45:19 PM
 :nono1: Diana, we can't risk you hurting yourself on one of those, it will affect your dancing.

Have you had your first lesson yet?
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 18, 2007, 05:49:13 PM
Still reading:  how to set your pole up and deciding on an outfit boobs

and nursing a tiny,baby headache :emot112:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 18, 2007, 05:53:51 PM
oH shampies...

Just want to know...must I bring my own pole tomorrow to practice?  yesno
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 18, 2007, 05:57:03 PM
I think so.We going to practice the "Tiger grind" and the"Snake arm" so warm up well. discodance
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 18, 2007, 06:00:55 PM
Oh goodie...The "tiger grind" is my favourite move.  grab

See you at practice. gnite
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 18, 2007, 06:04:32 PM
 :emot19: :36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 18, 2007, 06:52:46 PM
Hey girls.
The ideas you have sound great to a man. But I'm sure Keith means some other kind of pole dancing.     Hey Keith ; P
arse laughpoint
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 18, 2007, 07:18:07 PM
...and don't forget there are 4 poles on a Zimmerframe...... you only have one bod? How you gonna do that one sisters?

:36_2_35:
beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 18, 2007, 07:28:01 PM
My dear Micheal you will just have to wait for the re-union and see.There,s a move called the"Arbour" could work well on 4 poles discodance

Boy Georg we wont burst Keith's bubble :gum1:now.We'll have him shacking his arse
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 18, 2007, 08:35:53 PM
its getting very technical now - gosh you gonna be able to charge for lessons soon, Diane
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 18, 2007, 08:52:23 PM
Quote from: Michael Alexander on November 18, 2007, 07:18:07 PM
...and don't forget there are 4 poles on a Zimmerframe...... you only have one bod? How you gonna do that one sisters?

:36_2_35:
beautiful
Help me Mike. Zimmer sounds german, okay! What's Zimmerframe?
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 18, 2007, 08:57:02 PM
the four legged walking frames old people use to get about with, sometimes have two wheels.
Do old germans shuffle about like this.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 18, 2007, 08:59:15 PM
Okay. Got them in the psychiatry too.
But if you have enough small change you use the "electrical wheelchair" motorbike
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 19, 2007, 01:29:49 PM
Yep, and Diana seems to know way way toooo much about the pole dancing business for my liking, somebody is not telling us everything about themself.....

idontknow


dawoman

discodance

boobs
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 19, 2007, 07:34:20 PM

:emot19:
You realy don't want to get me going  on bellydancing or skydiving.So we won't tell you
everything   :nono1:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 19, 2007, 07:53:51 PM
Yes, the  participants in the forthcoming event have been very sweet about all of this - no hidden stuff that anyone has to know of before the time.

Now all we need to know  -  who's gonna be the "Muzo's" at the event?  We already know what Keith (The Pole) will contribute.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 19, 2007, 09:37:56 PM
poor Keith, his comment was innocent enough - but hey it was fun...........
Muzzo I thought I read about a bedrock band based in Omund somewhere, maybe they can contribute
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 20, 2007, 06:24:51 AM
Yes know well fine Keith should have known better then to take on a bunch of menopausal woman.Fortunately we know him rather well so he got off lightly. allgood  :36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 10:59:07 AM
Hi Diana

Practice was good last night...such fun  boobs

You are a natural with the Tiger Crunch move. dawoman

I think next time we must not oil the pole...I really battled trying to keep my grip when doing the upside down move..

Got a helluva nob on my head this morning ...ouch!  :emot112:

Looking forward to our next practice tomorrow night. laughpoint
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 20, 2007, 11:03:09 AM
Any clips to show us the show, Debby?
pls arse
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 11:23:23 AM
 :nono1: Boy George..

You will have to wait until we've perfected our moves...

THAT could take a loooooong time....
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 11:26:20 AM
But keep your eye on this topic... :emot19_2:  We'll update you on our progress.  :wow1:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 20, 2007, 11:38:57 AM
HEHEHEH!!!
boobs :buffo9:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 20, 2007, 12:24:27 PM
Debbie I thought I told you not to use oil,the BOOK clearly says that unoiled skin causes better friction that helps you stick to the pole.PVC or leather works well as well.  discodance  Bruising is all part of this new venture.Hope the Barbara's are practicing their moves. I don't doubt for one minute that Daleen is.  :36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 20, 2007, 12:52:02 PM
I'm sure you girls need help to get started. I'm ready if you need me.
pls
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 20, 2007, 12:59:46 PM
hahaha roll on the floor oh ok I'll concentrate and pay attention, roll on the pole oh I get it

may need some further instructions.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 20, 2007, 01:06:48 PM
Get a pole and some PVC then watch this space.Pay attention now! :36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 01:18:27 PM
Tonight I'm going to sew some velcro on my cozzie. Maybe then I won't slip around so much.  numberone

When I did the snake move, I swung around so fast (with all the oil) that I nearly knocked myself unconscious on your tv cabinet...ouch!
:emot112:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 20, 2007, 01:33:10 PM
Congratulations on taking the first step in joining a Pole Dance course with Pole Performers.

The following information will guide you in terms of what you need and what you can expect for lessons with us.

    * Wear shorts, trainers and t-shirt
    * No lotions or oils on skin
    * No heels
    * Bring water and a towel
    * Please arrive early in time for warm-up / cool down

Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 20, 2007, 02:22:03 PM
What time do the classes start... would hate to be late    grab
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 20, 2007, 03:14:54 PM
it seems we have to practice on our own, Barbara - picking up snippets from Debs and Di as they go.... :yeah3:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 20, 2007, 03:19:15 PM

OK....   will have to go out and buy a pole, the weather is too bad to use the washing line pole, which i would of done if it was summer.  :caldo1:

would of given the neighbours something to talk about....Shame is would of been   beautiful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 20, 2007, 03:22:57 PM
oh yea, never thought of that.

it's the shorts I'm gonna need - as well as the pole.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 20, 2007, 03:28:55 PM
shorts ....thats not a problem.. am going to need another pair of hands to get me up the pole
:emot19:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 03:43:48 PM
Now don't worry girls... boobsDiana has a solution to all these little problems. Just follow her instructions carefully and she'll have you pole dancing like a pro in no time. :yeah7:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 03:44:56 PM
Whooops sorry..the  boobs did'nt come out.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Barbara Eia (Brownless) on November 20, 2007, 03:55:46 PM
Hi Debby

How are you

As i said only worried about getting up the slippery pole. I seen somewhere that you could master it at the bottom of the pole think that would suit me.....

Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 20, 2007, 04:08:50 PM
I think what ever support we can manage will be grateful
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 20, 2007, 04:12:23 PM
I told you PVC or leather creates friction and helps you cling.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on November 20, 2007, 05:18:40 PM
 :clean4:

I am now thinking that valcro might be a good option and maybe some   :gum1:  !

Don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I've got bruise marks on my sholder blades  idontknow

Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Yvette Kroukamp (Biccard) on November 20, 2007, 05:24:48 PM


Listen I have 1 biiig problem, how the hell do you get to the TOP of the pole and actually stay there??? Diana??
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 20, 2007, 09:18:24 PM
Yvette,Yvette you not supposed to climb the pole,dance with the pole and around the pole.This dates back to an African tribal ritual,where the betrothed ladies would dance around a wooden symbol to show their fertility.The same applies to the maypole which is a pagan clelebration  of fertility.Of course the disapproving voices can be heard,but we can silince them by learning a dance style,getting fit and having a real laugh...........and you all thought we were joking about this pole dancing effort. :emot19:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 21, 2007, 04:23:04 AM
I was just wondering why this topic is full of female posting. Are the boys already in the "voyeur role" before it actualy get's started?
swink quickdop BierSuip
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 21, 2007, 07:29:29 AM
Okey dokey ladies,

What's all this talk about pole dancing dificulties . . . I'll provide the pole AND the dancing instructions!! arse  yougogirl

Looking forward to our reunion!! bighug :auguri1:

Lots of best wishes,
Keith.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on November 21, 2007, 11:36:39 AM
Hi  boobs Diana

I really enjoyed the lesson last night. bighug It was fun!

Thanks for giving me the leg up.. itI think it helped me perfect my new move.
I'll take your advice and practise those  arse butt clinches.

See you tomorrow night for the next lesson.

Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 21, 2007, 11:43:08 AM
 yougogirl practice,practice that all it takes.


You really don't need to provide instructions Keith we doung just fine.  thnx

discodance
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 21, 2007, 12:54:43 PM
I'll Have to keep a special eye out on this topic....... I don't want to miss anything...er! Uhm! I oh! er, mean So that things don't get outta control.......

:emot172:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Donald Duck on November 21, 2007, 03:11:53 PM
Pole Dancers :
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 21, 2007, 03:20:32 PM
So this is what Yvette, Diana, Debby and Dalene look like.
They won't "hit me from a chair". Sorry, German again
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 21, 2007, 03:59:59 PM
Doe biest deine kleine arse     Boy georg thats the best german you gonna get out of me :36_2_35:
hey Kenny at least the boots are leather discodance


Watch this space for our next lesson
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 21, 2007, 11:20:21 PM
Okay then :tifo1: . . . no lessons will be given by the master pls, but belive me, the exam may be easier when it comes to test time!! numberone laughpoint
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 22, 2007, 12:04:51 PM
Hey Keith whats this adding degrees to your name (under Debbie B'day) "Master pole-dancer trainer" you actually just Keith "THE POLE"   discodance      I'm the one with the book    :emot26:   You just need to jump out the  present

Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 22, 2007, 08:35:49 PM
Hey Keith. I think the girls want us out of this topic.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 22, 2007, 08:38:38 PM
OH NO Keith has the pole discodance
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 22, 2007, 08:42:27 PM
Woahwa!
Your husband must be out tonight.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 23, 2007, 07:21:07 AM
Yup, Diana . . .  I know I'm da "pole" guy!!

At the reunion, I will just jump out of the  present  and pull my  :culo1: and shake my  arse to make you want to  quickdop yourself silly, even though you will have to admit I'm  numberone!!

The guys will all be  notfair and  :pianto1:

And the girls will be  daman  and  callme and  beautiful and  :36_4_8:

Looking forward to the reunion!!

Best regards,
Keith.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 23, 2007, 08:10:34 AM
Keith.
You should be carefull! Don't promise to much. Maybe you should do more for tention, or all might end in....

BierSuip shooter madashell quickdop  pls   bighug  pls shooter :caldo1: :emot77: notfair
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Richard Opperman on November 23, 2007, 04:36:05 PM
Keith the pole!

Photograph supplied by Diana - taken in 1972?

Enjoy
Richard
:Weed_Spin_2:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 23, 2007, 04:42:01 PM
Nice T-shirt Keith, But where's the pole?

laughpoint
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Richard Opperman on November 23, 2007, 04:45:05 PM
Hi Ladies,

Are any of you ladies going for a "sack and crack" shave :36_2_35: before this big pole dance event?
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on November 23, 2007, 05:49:47 PM
WE don't have sacks, boet.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 23, 2007, 05:59:20 PM
SIES Richard, we wear leather catsuits,helps create friction to keep us from falling off the pole.Safety regulations you know in our middle formative years.

@ Micheal, Keith was still wondering about poles in those days discodance

Debbie and I have been resting the past few days due to her bruising and my strained hammie.Will continue practice next week with "The Bow". This is a lovely pose that can be carried out anywhere around the pole,stand with your feet slightly apart facing the pole slide your hands down the pole as you bend forward.This is a nice easy move due to our injuries.       cheers  
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 24, 2007, 04:47:26 AM
Hey Diana boobs and Richard swink,

Thank you for providing the photo to Oppie . . . and thank you Richard for scanning and posting it.  For the life of me, I cannot remember that rather interesting T-shirt :emot19: No wonder I struggled for girlfriends in those days . . . none of them wanted to go out with a Dork!! iknow  :looser1:    That's why I have to make up for lost ground with all my girlfriends :36_4_8:!!

So, how do you like the hairstyle . . . early 1970's university style, after my mother forced me to go fo a haircut.   Heck, before I had my hair forceably cut,  madashell I remember being asked for a dance by a GUY at one of the teenage dances in the youth club . . . nearly resulted in a  yesno!!


Hey, Michael . . . the pole was still under development in 1973  idontknow. . . it is now fully developed and perfected for the ladies' pole-dance  arse competition at the reunion next year!!   Heh, heh, heh cheerup!!


I'm really looking forward to touching base with all you folks . . . !!

Best regards,
Keith bighug.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 24, 2007, 01:04:48 PM
I'm younger than most of you okies in here, But trust me I live for the 80's and to an extent the 70's also, Bee Gee's And Supertramp....... and nobody seems to understand me anymore.....

bighug
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on November 24, 2007, 01:17:51 PM
@ Mike

Youre going on in life LOL  notfair
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 24, 2007, 01:23:54 PM
Uncle Georg....... Yes. I know that, and I don't like that......... when we were 18 -35 years old, life was a party..... thereafter you start to realise that time is more important.......

Okie Goerg, I have to go braai next door, talk later....

:emot26:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on November 24, 2007, 01:26:53 PM
From the active members here i seem to be a fossil    madashell


But dont worry, still going strong  allgood
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 24, 2007, 01:51:46 PM
stick to the pole discodance topic please!
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Richard Opperman on November 24, 2007, 02:49:51 PM
Diana's 1st pole dance lesson at her 51st last Saturday.

See below: 1. Getting to know it. 2. Grip on the pole - lesson one.

Enjoy! dawoman
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on November 24, 2007, 02:52:55 PM
@ Richard

A good start with the lessons,
now we want to see more !!!!!! daman dawoman pls
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on November 24, 2007, 03:30:16 PM
I think it's time for the movie.
Diana! Diana!   ....
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 24, 2007, 04:56:54 PM
Need a lot more practice Boy Georg,perhaps in years to come we could do one for the geriatric's at our old age home   discodance
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on November 24, 2007, 05:42:45 PM
You guys have gotta be kidding me..... I thought you were all joking about this pole dancing shit..... but heck, what do you know...you guys are pro's....... forgive me...

cheers
cheerup
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on November 24, 2007, 06:34:47 PM
Quote from: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 24, 2007, 04:56:54 PM
Need a lot more practice Boy Georg,perhaps in years to come we could do one for the geriatric's at our old age home   discodance

Dont wait that long, you may risk a slipped disk   yougogirl
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 25, 2007, 11:51:10 AM
Ja/No Micheal we kid you not,us old ducks are game for most things, discodance remember we grew up in the cool era.   :Weed_Spin_2:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on November 28, 2007, 07:59:10 AM
Good going Diana  boobs   It was good to see you on an amateur pole . . . just wait until the professional pole comes to town, then you girls can go nuts!! :buffo1:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on November 28, 2007, 12:16:19 PM
NUTS you say! Are there squirrels as well?   Thought you'd left us Keith,so I was selling my pole untill I say the cool icon  of me that Micheal put on the smiley's.   poledancing
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on December 01, 2007, 04:47:27 AM
Hey  boobs  Diana,

Keith, the pole, here . . .  arse

I can't wait to see you doing the  poledancing  on my pole!!

Lots of love from,
That Canadian winter Polye-guy.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 01, 2007, 03:37:52 PM
Keith, Debbie and I are to continue practicing again next week due to the fact that I have had no offers for my pole. It has come to my attention that Barbara Fry and Paula are also hard at wok practicing.Hope you have a re-enforced pole as apparently I bend them. poledancing discodance
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on December 01, 2007, 07:44:36 PM
My Dear Diana, you don't bend them. You permanently put them in a state of no return!



:emot172:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 01, 2007, 07:48:39 PM
I'm sure them Canadians have a solution to that problem.It would be a imported pole. poledancing
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on December 01, 2007, 07:51:57 PM
Diane = I must confess I haven't got much further in my practice than trying on all the outfits, you are so cool - especially the shoes, how do we dance in them by the way I can hardly walk.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on December 01, 2007, 07:58:08 PM
Droooooool!

shave
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on December 01, 2007, 08:53:09 PM
 allgood

I'll do what needs to be done when I'm back on site fully.  Have'nt forgotten about you lot and the show.

In the meantime - keep it up girls.

(Wow, and our Mikey has been jumping around with the updates on everything, I see.)
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on December 02, 2007, 02:39:11 AM
Hey girls, since when am I doing pole dancing??

remember that I'v got three boys - one is 20 and the twins are 16 and they are so protective of their mom that even when a male talks to me they are at him... iknow ... so there is no ways they will let their mom pole dance, I'd rather just dance and wait for the moment to see Mike pop out the box in a G-string laughpoint
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 02, 2007, 09:44:25 AM
Hey Paula. Which boys talk to you? I thought you girls were traing without boys in site.  yesno
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on December 02, 2007, 11:21:34 AM
HELLO!!!! Georg, I'm not one of the pole dance, what's the matter with you! stay with the programe ;)
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 02, 2007, 07:40:08 PM
Whats with this Paula,Paula,Paula, Georg have you forgotten about us or WHAT. Do not scorn menopausal women if you value your........... madashell
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on December 02, 2007, 09:01:01 PM
Typical boys, first they........ bighug and then they......... boobs
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on December 03, 2007, 01:33:17 AM
ooohhh!!! Georg, you in trouble now,  laughpoint never mind, give all your attention to the "menopausal women" now or they might star dishing slaps out! bighug


Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 03, 2007, 04:06:35 AM
Sorry Diana. But as you see, everybody want's a piece of the cake. What should I do? I'm trying hard...
:buffo9:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on December 03, 2007, 10:11:54 AM
hahahaha  ek se niks!!! ( for a change)
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 03, 2007, 11:37:21 AM
Im think I understood that. My Afrikaans is realy bad. So if you want me out, you know how...
:cibo4:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 03, 2007, 12:15:03 PM
Ja Paula you quite right we can dish slaps out AND get away with it. :sorriso2:

Boy Georg did your mother not teach you anything about women. You must read "The Womans Law Book" page: 13009 paragraph: 98   :sorriso2:


P.S> A bit touchy there Boy Georg there's a whole chapter on that in "THE LAW" book.  bighug  giverose.

By the way Paula you doing the opening number in our  poledancing routine or would you rather jump out the present
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 03, 2007, 05:21:37 PM
This seems to be turning out to be a BIG show...
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on December 03, 2007, 06:49:26 PM
as big as your imagination, boy !
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 03, 2007, 07:21:03 PM
That's toooo big to handle.... cheerup
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on December 03, 2007, 07:26:56 PM
for whom, come on now -----
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 04, 2007, 04:52:10 AM
it seems I'm not just out numbered, I'm even surrounded.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 04, 2007, 12:06:38 PM
Wait untill we start  performing overseas.Promise our first stop will be Germany,I do believe anything goes there,then you can be our  present jumper outer person,Boy Georg. Best be nice to us oldies else we'll get your dad to do it. discodance 
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 04, 2007, 12:29:52 PM
 poledancing
To find my whereabouts try the topic:
The whereabouts of Oranjemunders in looking for Oranjemunders.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on December 04, 2007, 01:58:58 PM
Quote from: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 04, 2007, 12:06:38 PM
Best be nice to us oldies else we'll get your dad to do it. discodance 

Ok count on me, i ´ll be there  yougogirl iknow
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on December 05, 2007, 01:02:33 AM
Just want to show you how hard I am working on this:  -  beneath is a photo of me in action (even put my leopard spot bikini on - that serious I am about practice).  Ag pleez,
just don't tell me I'm too skinny to be wearing the outfit  -  you know I'm very sensetive ..........  times are hard........
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Michael Alexander on December 05, 2007, 04:35:34 AM
The outfit suits you, what bothers me though is the colour of your fingernail polish!
:36_2_35:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 05, 2007, 04:46:56 AM
Great Dalene.
Dig the heart your holding. It improves the show so much. Don't believe anything anyone else says.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 05, 2007, 10:53:00 AM
You look great Dalene,will put you down for "The Leopard Curl" movement.This is a nice raunchy number,so keep up the practice poledancing  yougogirl
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 10, 2007, 01:12:54 PM
Our DEBBIE's very quiet,must have got stage fright since she's been in traction.Looks like we going to have to get Bev to replace heras our lead  poledancing
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on December 11, 2007, 09:41:10 AM
(//)

Wait Wait...I'm still here, nearly recovered. I'm trying to post some of the pics I took at the last class. Will do so soon.

poledancing
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 11, 2007, 09:47:43 AM
That's exciting Debby.
fireworks dawoman arse swink :buffo9:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on December 11, 2007, 01:57:40 PM
Hey Debbie and Diane did you see Keith promised a photo of his pole.  Now I'm worried !
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 11, 2007, 02:20:47 PM
I saw that Barbs,don't worry I don't think it's to dangerous
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: barb (Fry) on December 11, 2007, 02:24:06 PM
danger was not what I was worried about, it's the mental vision that I have now and the possible scarring I may have to live with

haha imagination is a wonderful thing isn't it
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 11, 2007, 02:25:49 PM
Perhaps we giving him more credit than is due
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Keith Margetts on December 22, 2007, 05:45:47 AM
Hey girls, e154

Give me some credit for length and strength, eh!!
poledancing
From that Canadian  winter Poler Bear,
Keith  arse
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on December 22, 2007, 09:44:08 AM
 e154 Don't worry Keith we impressed  bling1.

Well girls,Debbie and I have almost mastered our moves and will be taking a well deserved break untill 19th Jan 2008.I trust you are all practising up a storm as we will give a show beyond all expectations at the re-union. poledancing

Later in the year Michelle will have to get Michael to start practicing jumping out the  present.

May you all have a great Christmas and New Year where ever you will be.  xmastree  fireworks
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 06, 2008, 10:01:13 PM
errr ummm, Posting this just to bring the topic up the ladder a bit before it disappears and everybody forgets how hard the ladies are woking towards the re-union. All to start practicing again on the 19th  fireworks  poledancing
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on January 07, 2008, 09:49:17 AM
Yes. 

Note to self :  get a stronger pole -  you have gained all the kilo's that you said Yvette would - or start working out a little harder, otherwise you might end up looking like this dude below....
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 07, 2008, 11:03:05 AM
now that's a nice pic of you Dalene. Now we can see you better. Thanks!
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on January 07, 2008, 11:07:19 AM
Yeah, I personally like the undercoat hanging from my shoulders.  Didn't the green colour come out nice? 
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 07, 2008, 11:25:13 AM
Quote from: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on January 07, 2008, 11:07:19 AM
Yeah, I personally like the undercoat hanging from my shoulders.  Didn't the green colour come out nice? 
I wasn't making fun of you. I realy meant YOUR photo.
I know it's hard to believe I'm not bull++++ing you... bling1
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 07, 2008, 11:30:12 AM
You got to be more specific Georg jr, you gunna get yourself into trouble!!

:emot19: :emot172:
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on January 07, 2008, 11:31:41 AM
 beautiful    :  I know  -  thank you.  Was only pulling your leg.  Had to update my profile photo  -  cannot ignore all the wrinkles in the mirror, so you guys might just as well see them too.  Will be less 'scary' when we meet at the reunion in Nov.
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on January 07, 2008, 11:55:01 AM
Flip that's quick thinking Dalene.  yougogirl I've done the same. Ok ya all...let's see your pics without the  bling1
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 07, 2008, 12:30:46 PM
Hey Debby.
I like your pic too. Time for me to take care of mine...
Title: Re: BANNED
Post by: Debby Opperman (Biccard) on January 07, 2008, 12:45:46 PM
Why Thank you GeorgJr