Oranjemund Online

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS! => The Joke Corner for all => Topic started by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on December 31, 2007, 10:50:06 AM

Title: How to treat men
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on December 31, 2007, 10:50:06 AM




A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although
very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old
buddies.


So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.


'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. I'm going to have a
beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland , Japan . .

All he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar...
You know... they have frozen glasses... '

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug
out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be
long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty
words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

OK, THEN, LISTEN UP CHICKEN ****! SIT YOUR *** DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP,DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR F******* G HORS D'OEUVRES, BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED *** ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT **** IS OVER. GOT
IT, JACKASS?' arse

... and they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a sweet story?

Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on December 31, 2007, 11:29:03 AM
This is a true story.
laughpoint quickdop
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on December 31, 2007, 01:39:58 PM
Happened to you then did it Georg Jr   :emot19: vampire
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 01, 2008, 04:44:09 PM
Is there any man out there who could say no?   :culo1: quickdop
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 02, 2008, 11:57:01 AM
I don't know, how about the gay guys?

Any comment Georg Jr?

:emot19: laughpoint

And just when you thought it was safe to come out and play!!
vampire :36_2_35:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 02, 2008, 12:54:39 PM
Should  I   break  the  silence  on  this  one ??
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 02, 2008, 01:10:46 PM
Go on Sandy. Give us a hand...
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 02, 2008, 01:37:53 PM
No  difference  except  you  got  two  people no  defined  societal  role  with   similar  traits   of  wanting  to go  have drinks  with  the boys  .. kind  of  double  jeopardy ..  can  be  a recipe  for  disaster   for  some ..
Then  again  I  was  always  the  naughty  one .. my  stock answer  on  crawling  home in  early  hours of morning   after a  night  out  if  I  was in any way  confronted would be " Hic ! too  tired  to  talk  now "    and  stumble  off  to  bed ...  always  forgiven  the  next  day ..  Lucky me ..
Come  to  think  of  it  what  about  couples where  they have  the   more  liberal   approach  of  Boys  nights   out  and the  wives  have  Girls  nights   out ..  have  seen  some  of  these  groups of  women  on  the  prowl  in   the  pubs in  table  view  ..  as  intent as a  pod  of  killer  whales  on  the hunt ....
long  and the short  is  for  both  parties to try and  respect each other  to  the  best of  their  ability  and  try  not  to  control   each  other  too  much ..   " control "  thats  the  other recipe  for  disaster   ...
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 02, 2008, 01:45:14 PM
 e154 Sandy me Darling
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 02, 2008, 01:50:18 PM
Now it's really tendining to get intelectual on the board. Hear that Paula? No  yesno , or  :emot112: , or   e180   
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 02, 2008, 01:57:53 PM
 :emot19:

Hey I can be intelectual, just don't think you will be able to keep up Georg Jr  :emot19: :emot172: bighug
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 02, 2008, 01:59:05 PM
 :emot172:  Is this the ZA way to be intelectual? What's it like when you get physical?????
:36_2_35:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 02, 2008, 02:07:01 PM
 @ Dianna  .... Never  saw  you out on the prowl   in  Table  View ..   .. good  girl !!

@ Georg .....  More  factual , or  at  least my  experience   and understanding  which  most  of  the  time  passes  as  reasonably  sane   to  pleasantly  disturbed  ...
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 02, 2008, 02:09:18 PM
Disturbed. I likec what you wrote. Very personal and honest. I've been writing a lot of cr*p myself, but I do see the difference.
daman
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 02, 2008, 02:15:39 PM
   @ Georg   ..  Thanks ... Now  you  have to  explain  your  fatal  attraction  to Paula  to the  pleasantly  disturbed  one ..   >>>   Hic !!   well at least thats  whats  going  to  happen  when  I get  home  .. had a  very tough  first day  back  at work after a  very short holiday .. feel  kind of steamrollered   so  a  good few  glasses  of  wine  may  revive  me   ...
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 02, 2008, 02:18:46 PM
 cheers

Don't forget the   giverose  for your wife, just in case... You know.
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 02, 2008, 02:32:42 PM
SandyB, Georg jr "fatal attraction", he just likes to be slapped around by a girl it seems...lol
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 02, 2008, 11:32:36 PM
Hey Paula.
Wait till we meet. You'll be melting away. In my hands you'll be like butter on a warm summer day. You'll not want anything else in your life again.....

swink :buffo9:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 05:59:55 AM
Ja!Ja! Georg Jr  :caldo1: :emot19:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 06:42:53 AM
@ Paula .. thought  it  was  that ... 
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 07:22:09 AM
Already excausted Paula. Haven't even got started yet.   :buffo9:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 07:38:11 AM
Update ..  the wine steamrollered  me  even  more ..  thats what  happens  when  one  is  too  tired ...    crawled  into  bedearly   feeling   very  muf   .. 
I   think  Georg  is  really  trying  hard  with  Paula ..  Georg ,  methinks  you  playing  with  fire   .. something  tells me  she  is  not  the  butter   to  melt , more  so  the  fire .. you know what happens  when  fire  meets  fire  hey??   or  should  we  get  Mikes  opinion here ..
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on January 03, 2008, 07:52:46 AM
@ Sandy

Dont worry, every fire can be extinguished with the right technique  iknow
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 08:18:34 AM
The  wise  father  speaks .. he  knows  something  about  the  Georg Jr ...
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 08:23:12 AM
  idontknow

do tell Georgswa, I'm sure all the girls would like to know

:36_2_35: 
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 08:30:53 AM
by the way, Mike has been keeping out of sight her in Oranjemund.

Michelle, have you got Mike under house arrest or are you keeping HIM out of trouble during the festive season, didn't even see him or you guys at the Bowling Club for New Years, was Mike to scared that Sheena and I was gunna slap him silly, bet he was hiding under the bed at home the whole time.

HEY MIKE, WHERE ARE YOU DUDE!!

:emot19:

Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 09:17:10 AM

Quote from: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 07:38:11 AM
Update ..  the wine steamrollered  me  even  more ..  thats what  happens  when  one  is  too  tired ...    crawled  into  bedearly   feeling   very  muf   .. 
I   think  Georg  is  really  trying  hard  with  Paula ..  Georg ,  methinks  you  playing  with  fire   .. something  tells me  she  is  not  the  butter   to  melt , more  so  the  fire .. you know what happens  when  fire  meets  fire  hey??   or  should  we  get  Mikes  opinion here ..

Hey psst Sandy! I travel with fire and WATTER. Always got a bucket along with me. I'll get her by surprise and send her back in small packages. For Michael. hehehehe.... :buffo9: quickdop
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 10:05:17 AM
Fire  and  water  make  steam .. lots of  hissing and  pressure  that  can  be  harnessed  and  put  to  good  use ....  choices ??
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 10:17:04 AM
You've got the spirit Sandy.
:sorriso2: :emot186: e180 arrowh laughpoint
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 12:17:13 PM
Hey you two, I'm watching you!  :emot112:

Georg jr, if you know what's good for you you had better start running now!  :yeah7:

Girls, it looks like we got another trouble maker on board besides Mike and Georg jr, SandyB, you are a marked man!

shooter

:36_2_35:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 12:20:15 PM
That's encouraging.  shooter yesno :36_2_35:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 12:22:13 PM
smart  arse !!!!!!!

vampire
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 12:23:58 PM
The topic is called: " How to treat men". Still haven't heard what you do and why!
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 12:29:55 PM
You should know, men never grow up, just their toys get more expensive...hahaha


Well I think most off all men like their space and with me you can be on onother planet!   :emot19:
Hows that for space!  :emot19:

Hey Georgswa, I see you are keeping an eye on this Georg jr, I don't think you gave him enough hidings when he was small.   :emot112: :emot19:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 12:34:35 PM
Toy? Expensive? Do ZA boys seek the surgeon the way Pamel A. does? Strange.  e180
Space? Between your ears? arrowh
Georgsw? Hiding? You should see him standing next to me... That's really to late. bling1
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 12:46:33 PM
Georgswa, just remind him that he has to go sleep some or other time, that's when you get him.   swink
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 12:54:36 PM
As I mentioned earlier on: You're not fair. Always using tricks. That's no way you're getting respect.
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 12:58:03 PM
  Paula ... Me  marked ? Ouch !    Why ??   Sooner  we  all  hunt  Koos  down   he's  really  asking for  it , also  seems  he  wont  enjoy  it .. nothing  worse  than  having  a  willing  slappee   , it  takes  all  the  joy out  of the experience ...
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 01:01:06 PM
Marked? Carefull Sandy. I've seen dogs marking... Don't want to think of how Paula... No. Forget it.
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 03, 2008, 01:02:37 PM
You treat them like children. You feed them,you love them then you put them in their place.  kisssmiley

Now that its been mentioned where is our dear Micheal? (Being put in his place?  idontknow )
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 01:05:55 PM
Oh go on Diana. what's the world without men.
No more poverty. No more crime. No more war. Peace. Happiness.
That's not what you really want?
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 01:10:51 PM
  @ Georg Jr   .. Hey  dont  give  Paula any  more  ideas  .. I'm  trying  to  get her   off  our trail , hopefully  she  will instead  hunt  Koos  down ,, thats unless  you    still  into the  fire  and  water games ?
@ Dianna ...  Help !  Paula's  on  my trail /////
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 01:13:36 PM
Still have to get her hot enough. Get's us more steam.
I'm ready for it....
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 03, 2008, 01:20:02 PM
Men are wonderfull, Boy Georg,love them to bits especially the six-pack ones.BUT we do need to keep them in their place.  e154

Don't worry Sandy she'll never find you,she has to pass my house first and I won't tell, I won't ,I won't ,I won't I don't think so unless she finds me  quickdop
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 01:26:07 PM
Hey Sandy. Is Diana swopping the sides?
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 01:29:16 PM
No  , just  always  had  a  soft  spot for  me ...   see  I'm  clever  got  allies  on  all  sides ..
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 01:30:04 PM
It seems that way to me too, diana, you better get back on this side, you can't trust those men, don't say I didn't warn you!!   quickdop


As for you other two, I will bide my time and get you both when you least expect it  :culo1: :wow1:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 01:30:20 PM
Carefull not to compromise to much, Sandy.
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 01:31:23 PM
 :culo1: :emot77: :culo1: :emot77: :culo1: :emot77:  :culo1:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 01:49:33 PM
Diana, us women aready know the men anyway don't we so   :culo1:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 03, 2008, 01:52:31 PM
OH YES WE DO.Really got Boy Georg running in circles  bravo  I find it quite amusing how there little minds work  arrowh

We won't tell but Sandy is actually on our side  :sorriso2:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 02:03:03 PM
 OhmiGawd !  its  now  turning  into  a  mooning  parade ...  Paula  you  have to  wait  for  reunion   and  thats  a loong time  away .. by that  time  you  would  surely  have  cooled  down ??   or  gone  on  Koos's  trail   he  would  be  a  far  better target  seeing  as  he   took  a swipe  at our  site , wont  join  in  our  fun   and  is  in  hiding   somewhere ?? ,
@ Georg Jr ...  How  did  I  get  tangled   up  in  this  one ??
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 02:05:03 PM
Even  worse now ..  Dianna , now  I  will have  everyone  after  me ... Heelp !
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 02:16:11 PM
That's part of the game Sandy. Keep trying as hard as you can getting into trouble.
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 03, 2008, 02:19:06 PM
Story of  my  life  at  times  Georg ....   somehow  seem  to  enjoy  it ....
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 03:14:54 PM
You two chit chat just like girls!

laughpoint :emot172: :emot19:
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 03, 2008, 03:20:59 PM
sheesh Paula.
Try and be understanding. Men are so timid and breackable. Sandy's showing his heart. Now behave yourself
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on January 03, 2008, 03:28:31 PM
 :emot19_2:

Hallooooo you all!

Back from my little trip and what do I find?????

No, no, no..........  men do not get treated,  they are just being coped with!!! 
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP) on January 03, 2008, 03:40:48 PM
I am watching you !!!!!!
(http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z249/georgswa/lion-1.gif)



Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Michael Alexander on January 03, 2008, 03:41:00 PM
Welcome back Ouma! ..how was the west coast?

e154
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on January 03, 2008, 05:29:17 PM
Keep watching, but no eating or licking allowed............

It was great.  Camped in the boendoes, had great friends, took a few nice pics, had good walks, ate till we dropped and had gallons of beer to wash it all down with.  So nice to see the "old world" again.

Next time I should invite Koos de Kat with to show him what it's all about.
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 03, 2008, 09:55:48 PM
Sounds Great. "Thats the way I like it Ah Ha Ah HA"  yougogirl 
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Julie Vice (Willson) on January 03, 2008, 10:23:09 PM
We celebrated the millennium just outside Katu in the bush/camp site, best New Year ever. Lank dop, good friends and a fire that flamed straight up into the sky.  My hart verlang na die bossveld, (that's about as much Afrikaans I can master right now).    That's enough red wine for me too    BierSuip
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 04, 2008, 06:50:35 AM
Good  .. seems  the focus  is  off  us  two  for  the  while .. I  am  ducking  under  the  radar ..  Yes  Paula  men  can   chit  chat    as  well  .. shows   we  do  have    hearts  after all ...   Now  please  follow  the  traill  of  Koos   , even  Dalene  seems  to  want  to  meet  him  and  sort  him out ..

                   bighug
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 04, 2008, 09:17:32 AM
Hey SandyB, I see you are very much in touch with your feminan side!   :emot98:

Hi Delene, welcome back, glad to have all the girls back on board, just to keep you updated, all the men need a fat klap they have been getting way out of hand of late.

Hope you had a great holiday, Happy X-mas and have a honkey tonkey New Year!
  cheers bighug

Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 04, 2008, 09:44:22 AM
Yes  Paula ,   in  touch , helps keep  balance ..  dont forget  that  men  are  after all  and  remain  naughty  boys  at  heart , it  help  keep  your  lives  interesting .............
By  the way  are  you  part  of  the Gotsch  familty  thats  related  to  Ronel Whatley ??
Now  what  about  Koos ??    you  gotta  deal with  him  and give  us  a  rest ..
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 04, 2008, 10:47:15 AM
Yip, Ronel is Noel's (my better half) cousin.



Koos who?!

  idontknow
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 04, 2008, 12:04:22 PM
Here you go Georg jr, 'How to Treat a Man"

Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 04, 2008, 01:58:19 PM
@ Paula .. the  Koos   who  put up  the  topic  MOVING ON ...  currently   he  is  being  hunted  down ....  Ok  got  things  wrong  way  around ..   Paula   ( Wilson ) Gottsch ..  I  visit  Ronel  whenever  I    travel  up  the coast  ..  used to  see  a  bit of  Uncle  Kenny  and  Auntie  Marie  but they  seem  to  have quietened  down  a  bit  now ..   I'm  going  home  now for  a  good  weekend ....... 
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 04, 2008, 02:11:49 PM
I'm willson with a double "L"

Ask MIke!

Have a great weekend SandyB

:emot98: kisssmiley
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: SandyB on January 04, 2008, 02:14:10 PM
Willson   it  is  indeed  ..  seems  Mike  got  into  trouble  for  that  glips .. .. ok   I  will  take it  as   a  reminder  to  get eyes  tested  again ...........
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: georg ruf jr. on January 04, 2008, 08:50:10 PM
Quote from: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 04, 2008, 12:04:22 PM
Here you go Georg jr, 'How to Treat a Man"



Is this something sexuall?
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Bev Coates (Now Walker) on January 05, 2008, 12:29:07 AM
Hi Sandy....put me on your team please...i think theres only koos needs a slapping.....what happened to the good weekend you were about to have.....you went to bed at 10pm.......friday night......thats not a very good start.....good job you only txt me rather than called or as you know id have kept you talking till gone midnight....... e154
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Paula Gottsch (Willson) on January 05, 2008, 08:55:39 AM


Is this something sexuall?
[/quote]

Hey Georg Jr, who know what you are into, but whatever makes your boat float!   :emot19:

 
Title: Re: How to treat men
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on January 05, 2008, 10:18:53 AM
OR Whatever Blows Your Hair Back   iknow  :36_2_35: