Men in white

[Patricia Lotte]

An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.

Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token of his appreciation..

Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank You card and a box of Almond Roca sweets.

The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew's kind gesture in the same way as he had done the first time. So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner.

The Arab replied :

"Ya habibi !!,
I have Jewish blood now, remember..!?

[Chris Macpherson]

  Very good I love it........

[Bob Molloy]

Then there was the Irishman John O'Reilly who hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life! Between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

[georg ruf jr.]

 

[Patricia Lotte]

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . . .

Doctor: "What happened?

"Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...

"Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle"

2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.

Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"

[georg ruf jr.]

 

[SandyB]

Me  too         

[toonfandangl]

       A lesson well learnt....................................................................