New South African Dictionary

[Michael Alexander]

The New South African Dictionary
Officials of the New South African government have come to realise that the current status of
having 11 official languages in the New South Africa is impractical. A new language was thus
introduced. This is the English as it is now spoken on television and radio. The recently
published New Suth Effrican Deekshunry defines these new weds. Here are some extracts and
examples of their usage in the official New Suth Effrican lungwich:

- Bad - you sleep on it in the badroom
- Beds - mossies, doves, etc
- Beg - container, as in shopping beg, hand-beg, tog-beg
- Ben - to set alight
- Chealdren - our future is in their hands
- Chetz - where worshippers go on Sundays

- Cuds - you can play poker or rummy with them
- Cut - a small donkey-drawn vehicle
- Debben - city in KZN
- Deekshunry - where you find weds
- Detty - opposite of clean
- Die'llas - as in drug die'llas or wee-pon die'llas
- Driva - holds the steering wheel of a teksi
- duck - very duck at night when the lights are all off
- Ebben - you get ebben erriors and rural erriors
- Effrican - from the continent of Africa
- Erriors - districts, e.g. ebbon erriors
- Ewways - eg. SAA, Comair
- Fems - companies, e.g., Anglo-American
- Fest - the one before second and third
- Fok - used with nifes
- Fum - you can fum with ship or kettle
- Fumma - he owns the fum
- Guddin - where you grow kebbijees
- Geave - you MUST geave, I WILL take
- Get - a hinged device in a fence
- Hair - as opposed to heem
- Heppi - state of elatement, e.g. I'm so heppi - I just voted
- Hiss - masculine form of hairs
- Hubba - where sheeps dock
- Itch - as in itch and avairy pesson
- Jems - little bugs that give you the flu
- Kah - what you drive around in
- Kennel - ummy officer
- Kebbijees - vegetable
- Keptown - some think parliament doesn't belong there
- Kettegry - in a system of classification
- Kipper - one who kips, as in goal kipper
- Kleenix - where nesses weck
- Kot - where the judges sit
- Len - to acquire knowledge
- Leeda - as in Arwa Leeda, the president
- Lungwich - weds what are spokkin
- Mick - those that will inherit the eth
- Miening - what is the miening of this attack?
- Nesses - they weck in kleenix and hospitals
- Pee pull - powa to da pee pull
- Peppa - one way to get the news
- Pesson - one of pee pull
- Phlegm - the benning top of a kendal
- Pees - symbolised by white dove
- Pees-Tox - between IRA and John Major
- Reeva - e.g. Limpopo, Vaal, Orange
- Regime - anything to describe pre-1994
- Ree kwest - replaced by dee mands
- Rent - N/A - word obsolete
- Scotched Eth - guerilla tactic
- Sheep - big boat

- Shex - houses in squatter camps
- Ship - provider of wool
- Shit of Peppa - something to write on
- Shuck-attak - if the shuck- net is brokkin
- Shuck-nets - at Debben, for safety of sweamas
- Spitch - what politicians make at a relly
- Suth - opposite of North
- Sweamas - compete in a sweaming pul
- Teps - solvent to thin enamel paint
- Teck - see geave
- Teksi - kah for hire - sometimes parrot teksi
- Tenning point - the "top" of a parabola
- Thest - ice cold Coke will relieve it on a hot day
- Tipic ally - characteristic
- Tocks - negotiations
- Ufrican - pertaining to Ufrica
- Ummy - military force
- Wee men - ladies
- We pon - a gun
- Wean-dow - with glus for throwing bricks through
- Weaned - Gone with the Weaned
- Weaner - the one with the most votes
- Weckliss - the unemployed pee-pull
- Weds - what the dictionary is made up of
- Wekkas - do the weck
- Weld - the eth
- Wems - small crawly creatures
- Weth - she is weth her weight in gold.

[toonfandangl]

Strewth Mate!! sounds a lot like Kiwi folk......................................

[SandyB]

Frank  this is the  darker  southafrican dictionary ....   so they  sound like Kiwi Folk ...??   we  have   various ,,, pronunciations and spellings ...  anglikaans  ,  beyond the boerewors curtain ,,  etc .. cape spanish ....  one example ..    tjoep --  pronounced choop .. is a flourescent light ....  got  it  tube ??    so many  more    its  fun ,, more so    we have a service on  Telkom  that   will turn a  cellphone  text  message into a voice  message  for the landline service .. ...   Give an afrikaans  text message   and boy  oh boy the    yank translation program  murders the  words    in a fashion that  makes one  wet oneself ...