Vernon Koekemoer - SA's answer to Chuck Noris.

[georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP)]

Watch out your drinking habits Sandy

Just now you will see white mice jumping up and down in your bedroom.

You are an andangered specie with all that shiraz muddling up your mind   

[SandyB]

Georg .. that one  happened  a  few  years ago   was still  celebrating my failed adulthood , thats why midlife crisis never  hit me ..  now  all I  have to look  forward to is  middle age and then old age , while still celebrating failed adulthood ??  .. no  joking .. me  have  now  become  a  complete  adult  .. or  at  least i  think so ..    the child   in  me  lurks  dangerously . and I  have to  keep him  in check .. especialy  now  I  only have  me  to  keep  check on  me ... and  that  has  hit hard ....

[Chris Macpherson]

@  daddy georg, seeing white mice for sandy. like mikes dad seeing PINK ELEPHANTS in CASEYS.

the guys stuck a poster of said elephant on the ceiling above JOCKS regular table and when he was well on they told him to look up. :emot19: :emot19: :emot19:

[Diana Rudd (Boehme)]

@ Diana  if  you  get  jealous of my  cardboard  cutout  you can  always  burn him Ok ??

[/quote]

:emot19:   were you wearing your short shorts.

You mean you still have the cutout?   Burn him, never!!!!    I'll keep him in my wardrobe.

[SandyB]

Didnt  even  bother  taking it home .. i fled .. James Dean or  not ...

[Michael Alexander]

@Sandy, I know about the Jocks Table... but do you remember if there was a Geordie's table also?

[SandyB]

Dont  use  them  much  but .... :emot98:

[Carl Wrbka]

Has anybody seen the new Vodacom advert on TV? Our friend Vernon has made it into showbizz...

[Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee)]

Yep  -  Vodacom's own blow up helium filled Vernon.

Diana & Sandy -  you have a go at him!

[Chris Macpherson]

yeah, isaw him.

maybe he is koos's twin. koos hasnt been too active lately,last time made snide remarks at me, maybe that shakes him wakker.

[Rhona]

Koos only makes snide remarks if he likes you.........

[Michael Alexander]

... and so it begins...



Vernon Koekemoer makes onions cry

Vernon Koekemoer can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Vernon Koekemoer killing people faster than Death can process them.

Vernon Koekemoer can build a snowman..... out of rain.

Vernon Koekemoer can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Vernon Koekemoer can drown a fish.

When Vernon Koekemoer enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Vernon Koekemoer looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Vernon Koekemoer and Vernon Koekemoer

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards, Vernon Koekemoer can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Vernon Koekemoer. He is the end of all things.

Vernon Koekemoer does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Vernon Koekemoer

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Vernon Koekemoer and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The Vernon Koekemoer calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Vernon Koekemoer.

If you spell Vernon Koekemoer wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Vernon Koekemoer?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Vernon Koekemoer can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Vernon Koekemoer' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Vernon Koekemoer gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Vernon Koekemoer can kill two stones with one bird.

Vernon Koekemoer was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Vernon Koekemoer kills 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Vernon Koekemoer was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Vernon Koekemoer can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Vernon Koekemoer has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.

It takes Vernon Koekemoer 10 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Vernon Koekemoer once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vernon Koekemoer could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Vernon Koekemoer.

Vernon Koekemoer destroyed the periodic table, because Vernon Koekemoer only recognises the element of surprise.

Vernon Koekemoer got his drivers licence at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Vernon Koekemoer is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Vernon Koekemoer is pain. Do not try to square Vernon Koekemoer, the result is death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Vernon Koekemoer takes this as a personal insult

[Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee)]

Here Vernie then....

[Michael Alexander]

Nice one's Dalene...anymore Vernons?

[Carl Wrbka]

When Superman goes to bed he puts on his Vernon Koekemoer pygamas.

When the boogeyman goes to bed he checks in the closet for Vernon Koekemoer.