Garrys reimported Jokes.

[georg ruf jr.]

We're back in buiseness. I'll be posting here from tomorrow onward...

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

  party0031 banjo

[georg ruf jr.]

An Afrikaner guy, an Aussie, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting
in a train.
The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
The old woman, beautiful girl and the Afrikaner guy are sitting there
looking perplexed. The Aussie is bent over holding his face, which is red
from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking: 'That Aussie must have tried to that girl
and got slapped.'
The Aussie is thinking: 'Damn it, that Afrikaner guy must have tried to
the beautiful girl. She thought it was me and slapped me instead.'
The beautiful girl is thinking: 'That Aussie must have moved to me, but
kissed the old lady instead and got slapped.'
The Afrikaner guy is thinking: 'If this train goes through another tunnel, I
could make another kissing sound and moer that Aussie again!'

[Bertie Horak]

 

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

 

[Cherry (Alcock)]

  - Nice one!  I've been repeating the Boeresen joke to anyone who will listen as well!

[georg ruf jr.]

The Average South African

A recent study conducted by Wits University found that the average South African walks about 1200 kms a year. Another study by the South African Medical Association found that South Africans drink, on average, 100 litres of alcohol a year. This means, on average, South Africans get about 12 kms to the litre.

Kind of makes you proud to be South African.

[georg ruf jr.]

Waitingroom

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

 

[georg ruf jr.]

Hi Guys,
For those of you still young enough to remember listening to Springbok Radio's David Gresham's Top Twenty, Squad cars, etc.....check out this link!!!
Do yourself the favour of accessing the commercials link! Especially the Chevrolet ad...remember Sunny Skies!! LOL!!
Check out the cigarette ads as well.....remember the one's we saw on the big screen, before the actual movie started??

http://www.springbokradio.com/

[georg ruf jr.]

Have I posted this before and it was deleted??
If anbody should feel offended please contact me.

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.  She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.  You should go into town and kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
 
She quietly called him over to her.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
'Now take off my boots.'
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
'Now take off my socks.'
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
'Now take off my skirt'
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
'Now take off my bra.'

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'



(Yeah, I didn't see it coming, either.)

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

I feel offended, now what you going to do about it???!!!

[georg ruf jr.]

 witch-43 
Does that help???
  202

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

NO!!!!!!!!!

[SandyB]

Ok  Paula  ..  Promise  ..   promise .. cross  my  heart  ..  on pain of  death ..  I'll never  borrow  your  clothes on a  Saturday night  again  ..  anyhow  your   high  heels  were a bit  uncomfortable ..