AND ON A LIGHTER NOTE

[Patricia Lotte]

Nope ... still nothing ...

[Michael Alexander]

Nope, that were'nt it.......

The image will appear to be live to you, as it is stored on your browsers cache, but we don't see nuttin'...... and now we are even more curiouser to see it...

[toonfandangl]

OK try this one ????

[Michael Alexander]

    

[Mike Stenson (RIP)]

Pics don't load from inside Googlemail Frank.... save it and upload it... 

[toonfandangl]

 

[Patricia Lotte]

It's working Frank ... 

[toonfandangl]

 
.. Patrica........................................

[toonfandangl]

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?












The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you because you're not a monk.








The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.








The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car..






That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.











The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can't tell you because you're not a monk.









The man says, all right, all right. I'm dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?




The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.




The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.







The monks reply, "Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk.
We shall now show you the way to the sound."






The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.







The man reach for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks "May I have the key?"




The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.




Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.. The man requests the key to the stone door.






The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...







...silver, topaz, and amethyst.







Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door.









The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight.

















.. But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.




DON'T SWEAR AT ME;
I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO STARTED THIS !

[toonfandangl]

                                             
                                                            WHY SEE CHANGED MOTELS




Last week, a woman checked into a motel in Oranjemund and was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a ten cent coin off his well oiled bum.... You get the picture.

She figured, what the heck, I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, baby. Now how does that sound?"



                     

       




  He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

[Patricia Lotte]

A women is having s#x with her lover in an apartment 20 stories high.
Suddenly her husband returns from a long trip, and she hears him approaching in the apartment,
So she tells the lover: "do not move at all... I will resolve this situation!"
Comes the husband: "who is this?" asked the husband
Wife: "oh sweetie... this is jus a robot I bought to have s#x with when u not around, so that I don't have to cheat with your friends or with the neighbours...
I did it because u spend all the time travelling and u know that I...uhhm... have needs!!"
Husband: "oh honey I understand perfectly well... I believe u... ok let's do a quickie now, I came home as fast as I can and I'm extremely horny now!!"
Wife: " OH NO DARLLING... yesterday I got my period... u better take a bath, I'll prepare u sumthing to eat so long"
The lover is left with the husband in the room alone, while the wife walked out...
Husband: "D@mn I'm so fcken horny... I am going to f*#k this robot instead.." he tries entering the robot from his behind...
With a metallic and robotic voice the lover proclaims : "SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!... SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!"
The husband says: "f*#k this crappy robot... I'm going to throw it out of the god d@mn window!!" the lover realises that he's 20 stories high in the apartment and exclaims:
"SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!! SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!! U MAY TRY AGAIN... I REPEAT... TRY AGAIN!!!"

[toonfandangl]

. .....you recon they would throw him out the window Patricia .

[Patricia Lotte]

Who, the robot on the left? No way man 

[toonfandangl]

Bloke walks into a pub with his pet monkey.

He orders a beer, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.

The monkey grabs some nibbles off the bar and eats them.

Then grabs someones chips and eats them.

Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The barman screams at the bloke, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The bloke says, "No, what?"

"He just ate a ball off the pool table!

He swallowed it whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke.

"He eats everything in sight, the little bastard.

Sorry. I'll pay for the ball and that."

He finishes his drink, pays up for the monkey and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the pub again, and has his monkey with him.

He orders a beer and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar.

He grabs it, sticks it up his , pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his , pulls it out, and eats it.

The barman is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replies the bloke.

"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his , pulled them out, and ate em!" said the barman.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. 

  "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to shit out that pool ball, he measures everything first." !!!

[Patricia Lotte]