Oranjemund Online

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS! => The Joke Corner for all => Topic started by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 16, 2008, 08:44:54 PM

Title: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 16, 2008, 08:44:54 PM
Serious now.....do you really make up your jokes?
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 17, 2008, 03:57:28 AM
kenny buys his jokes from the same nigerian you get directions to our local omund pub in parklands.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Mike Stenson (RIP) on May 17, 2008, 04:07:01 AM
chris are you pissed or what, time to go to bed
you have taken over the whole forum.
:emot19:
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 17, 2008, 04:22:01 AM
hi brother, im looking all over 4 u now got u...........

so as an old man ,up so early? u pee in yur bed or what???  hey listen you wanna buy a 2nd hand missus?? i got one going cheap!!!!


i got my skelim , you know her, but i dont reckon you will know her name............. but if you can go back 20 yrs u will know who she is...........

i think u going work now hey. im only working contracts due to heart problem. at sab miller at moment......... contract maybe go another 3 months or so.put in some bids 4 missus........same like lootto ok.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Mike Stenson (RIP) on May 17, 2008, 04:26:34 AM
of course i know her name, Alan told me
time here is now only 5h33
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 17, 2008, 04:30:29 AM
@mike of course i take over whole forum when "noooobody" ouy there to chat to.........diana cant even find chill out in parklands so we can drink a double flat frog together for our darling rhona"s sake......... i do hope sam knows wat aflat frog is cause i dont????????????
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Mike Stenson (RIP) on May 17, 2008, 04:36:26 AM
its green in colour, mixture of biccardi breezer, alcopop (brute fruit) and something else.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 17, 2008, 04:52:06 AM
hey bru tryining to send pm to you but keep hitting wrong buttons.

is frog similar to sprinbokkies?? maybe rhona can help?

u wanna phone sometime......send me pm then ok and i send no.

spoke to mark swanepoel and nick other night.

still dont c me on birthday board....... ask mike a to add my details.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Michael Alexander on May 17, 2008, 10:40:15 AM
U gotta do it yourself, by editing your profile.... i think there is a topic under the Please Rgister Board...
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 17, 2008, 02:41:18 PM
Now back to my question.    Kenny do you realy make up the jokes you post?
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 17, 2008, 11:05:36 PM
Christopher and Michael - note the full titles which means the two of ye are in trouble.........First of all Christopher; what's this selling women craic - are you a closet pimp or something? Secondly, it's a FAT frog not a flat one and thirdly - and this is for the pair of ye...........A fat frog is a mixture of 3 alcopops; namely bacardi breezer orange (orange in colour; orange in flavour and bacardi as the alcohol content); smirnoff ice (cloudy white in colour; lemon in flavour and vodka as the alcohol content) and lastley WKD Blue (blue in colour; blue in flavour and vodka as the alcohol content)...........the contents of these three bottles are mixed in a jug and stirred with ice; then poured into 2 seperate pint glasses - choice is yours whether or not to drink through a straw............the mixture of the three drinks produce a green colour and hence the name 'FAT FROG'..................Now this little chicken is off to bed and I'll deal with the two of ye in the morning  gnite
If I even hear a whisper of ye buying and selling women again - it will be more than myself; Daina and Michelle you'll have to deal with...............don't temp me.........  swink
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 18, 2008, 08:16:06 AM
Quote from: Chris Macpherson on May 17, 2008, 04:22:01 AM

I got my skelim , you know her, but i dont reckon you will know her name............. but if you can go back 20 yrs u will know who she is...........

I'm surprised your heart can handle it.       :sorriso2:

You not serious.......best you hide behind the racks at Pick and Pay......that won't help either I'll find you   thumper
and if you know whats good for you won't bring the missus along.      Got mouth will talk.   
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 18, 2008, 08:23:19 AM
You tell him Diana - he's a bloody cheeky one, that fella; next time you see him, give him 2 swift kicks in the  arse and tell him they are from me!!!

What the hell is a 'skelim' anyway - sounds like a derogatory word from where I'm sitting.....
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 18, 2008, 08:34:50 AM
A skelm would be some woman his  "You know" on the side.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 18, 2008, 08:44:55 AM
Like a mistress?
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 18, 2008, 09:06:43 AM
Yip thats it,   
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Mike Stenson (RIP) on May 18, 2008, 09:24:37 AM
 iknow
skelm is a afrikaans word meaning crafty or sly
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 18, 2008, 09:30:35 AM
So does that mean that our Mr. Macpherson has a crafty; sly mistress that he wants to pimp out???
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 18, 2008, 05:12:54 PM
Quote from: Mike Stenson on May 18, 2008, 09:24:37 AM
iknow
skelm is a afrikaans word meaning crafty or sly
Quote

I know thats what its means.....but read in context....yes Rhona a sly mistress will do.


Come now Chris
Talk the talk now walk the walk                  You realy are joking aren't you....... we waiting for your explanation.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 18, 2008, 07:23:40 PM
@ Chris - we aren't going away until you explain yourself..........
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 18, 2008, 07:35:53 PM
hi rhona,dearest and diana sweetie, been looking for me have you??? was over at "SKELIM"  only got home just now.

i big and strong,, me not scared.... sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains aahemm hehehehe
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 18, 2008, 07:40:32 PM
The bigger you are - the harder you fall.............  thumper
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 18, 2008, 07:42:43 PM
not tall,big clever,,,your new picture looks good
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 18, 2008, 08:13:14 PM
So you realy have a skelm then???????

Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 18, 2008, 08:15:39 PM
no no just best friends.......... you know her as well........... :emot19: :emot19: :36_4_8:
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 18, 2008, 08:23:03 PM
You have a best friend?         From Guzzlers?    :sorriso2:   
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 18, 2008, 08:26:21 PM
yes yes yes but not from guzzlers............
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 18, 2008, 09:01:03 PM
What???
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 19, 2008, 05:19:21 PM
u deaf or something????

u see pacemaker gives you a "jumpstart"  hehehe

hold a sec just checking 'e bay' if any offers 4 trade in of missus.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 19, 2008, 05:56:51 PM
Listen here now Cheeky - I'm not deaf; you're talking in riddles - either you have a bit on the side or you don't!!!

You need a ''jumpstart'' to get going???  :wow1:
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 19, 2008, 06:01:53 PM
i have bit on side, bottom, top, depending what mood is like........... jumpstart similar to mouth to mouth.............
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 19, 2008, 06:05:51 PM
Aaaaggggghhhhh!!! you sick puppy - now I'm getting a picture.......STOP!!! Keep all that information to yourself - Diana ; Michelle - I need help; this guy is way out of control.......someone talk to him
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 19, 2008, 06:15:28 PM
hello???
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 19, 2008, 06:17:39 PM
hello...
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 19, 2008, 08:23:22 PM
Chrisopher behave yourself please.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Carl Wrbka on May 20, 2008, 06:04:30 AM
Looks like you aint gonna get the answer to your original question after all, Diana.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 20, 2008, 06:24:16 AM
Obviously not,Carl....so what does that tell me?
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Carl Wrbka on May 20, 2008, 06:49:32 AM
What was your question again??????....lol   It happens to me all the time, Diana. It just takes one person to drift off the topic and that triggers the avalanche. Try sending Kenny a PM.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 20, 2008, 12:18:04 PM
I was serious about my question, I've aske twice thats it.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Donald Duck on May 21, 2008, 03:53:14 PM
Did someone ask me a question?
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Michael Alexander on May 24, 2008, 12:19:32 PM
 :emot19:
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 24, 2008, 12:20:57 PM
 :emot19:   back at you
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: georg ruf jr. on May 27, 2008, 08:48:30 AM
Do you still remember the question Diana??
laughpoint
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 27, 2008, 01:32:46 PM
I do, Boy Georg but alas no-body is taking me seriously.  I realy would like to know.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 27, 2008, 04:04:06 PM
back to reply #30............. im referring to pacemaker batteries going flat, hence jumpstart, open me up and replace pacemaker  with new one,same as cpr with mouth to mouth. they say pacemaker lasts 5yrs before you need a change.
sorry if original post was misinterpreded
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee) on May 27, 2008, 04:17:44 PM
Koekkemakranka  -  that's the only swearword I ever heard my grandma use  -  and I think it might be appropriate in your case, Chris!  Batteries going flat....  my goodness, I would not act the eveready bunny part if it were me ....  would be to damned scared that the 5 year guarantee does not last even 3 years.  Not scared to pass on  -  just the thought of having to go through an op like that every 5 years.  My dad, Big Dirk, eventually had 3 operations for valve replacements  -  the 3rd time he had to be taken back to theatre after 2 days to stop some or other leak.  His biggest complain after each op used to be how sore his breast-bone was and the effect of the long anestesia on his system. 

Sterkte, pal .....


Mike  -  have you been to the doctor yet?  ?  ? pls 
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Michele Alexander (Voden) on May 27, 2008, 07:16:54 PM
 :36_2_24: Dalene - Mike has not been to the doctor! I made an appointment, without telling him of course, and only two hours before the appointment told him about it - of course he refused to go!

On the plus side he has been walking Shadow religiously and was very active with the girls this week-end! He reckons he also ate much healthier today at Spar and it was chicken burgers for supper tonight.

feedme
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 27, 2008, 07:30:21 PM
not major open heart surgery. ive been opened twice.... nobody told me that when you want to sneeze you must put arms across yr chest and hold tight, i sneezed and whole chest sternum split open again......... back to theatre and tied together inchest with stainless steel wire, hell very painfull thank g-d for morphine........ lekka stuff that... but can become addictive. to change pacemaker is done under local anaesthetic, u watch the procedure on a tv monitor and actually see the wires going across your chest and glooops..........gloooops into your heart,,,, anyone passing out or screaming yet??
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Carl Wrbka on May 28, 2008, 10:49:45 AM
Quote from: Chris Macpherson on May 27, 2008, 07:30:21 PM
and actually see the wires going across your chest and glooops..........gloooops into your heart,,,, anyone passing out or screaming yet??

Nope, not yet Chris. Must be all the horror movies I watched as a kid...lol  I've got a collection of blood and guts pictures and slideshows that I got from a friend in the SAP. They are very usefull in proving a point during safety meetings here at work.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 28, 2008, 01:14:41 PM
Quote from: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 27, 2008, 01:32:46 PM
I do, Boy Georg but alas no-body is taking me seriously.  I realy would like to know.

AS I WAS SAYING!!!!!!
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Carl Wrbka on May 28, 2008, 01:18:08 PM
I think that's Kenny's cue...
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 28, 2008, 01:21:13 PM
 iknow   I think his getting a bit confused....thinks I'm asking if he has a heart condition.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 28, 2008, 08:01:28 PM
Kenny has a heart condition????
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 28, 2008, 08:05:33 PM
NO MAN        everybody else seems to have one.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Rhona on May 28, 2008, 08:06:47 PM
I don't.......
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Diana Rudd (Boehme) on May 28, 2008, 08:19:12 PM
It seems to be mostly the guys, their pacemackers are shorting. Must be all us hot chicks on the forum.

I need to say that I'm not taking heart conditions lightly by posting this.   I lost my Dad to a heart attack.
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Michele Alexander (Voden) on May 28, 2008, 08:23:02 PM
Perhaps you should rephrase that to hot pole-dancing chicks!

poledancing1
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: georg ruf jr. on May 29, 2008, 07:07:20 AM
 :buffo9:  bling1  :sorriso2:
Title: Re: Att Kenny
Post by: Chris Macpherson on May 29, 2008, 06:28:58 PM
i had 8 of them, not being funny , just adding to  posts. shit scarey stuff  really but to be able to talk to you guys about my expierience, realy helps me feel better about myself.to me and my family it was a terrifing experience,drs phoning 3am and saying to my daughter [10yrs old then] to come and say goodbye to your daddy as he doesnt look like his gonna make it.