Sometimes it's all about me....

[Michael Alexander]

Ha, you should give more description by putting an adjective in fron of the word "cafe'" to give the reader a brief description/idea of the cafe'...

The only way we are gonna "it will grip you totally from start to finish" is if the cover is made outta velcro and we are wearing velcro gloves......   :emot19:

[Rhona]

First of all Mikey my boy - this section is ''all about me'' not you - but me..............so before I boot you accross the forum - pray tell what adjetive would you recomend??

[Michael Alexander]

Well My Irish friend,  were is this cafe of yours situated, Is it french, victorian or cajun? Is it an old building? A seedy joint.... or high establishment...... how much does the coffee cost?

[Rhona]

Never you mind where MY cafe is situated - sufice to say the midday sun streams in through the window. Anyway if you had the privilage of reading my book, you would see the sentence slotted nicely into a very discriptive paragraph...........seedy joint, huh! the cheek of you...

[Rhona]

Alright, alright - don't beg..........I'll give you the paragraph in question -

....Jake sometimes found it hard to believe that it was only a few short months since he had slowly pushed the door to the Rocky Rooster café wide open; being the only place in this god forsaken town to get a decent coffee and bite to eat, he found himself doing the same thing everyday at 12.30 and had done so for the last 6 months and 13 days; 14 if you included to-day! He casually walked to his usual table, situated in the shaded area at the end of the dining room and faced the full length window. Jake enjoyed watching people as they went about their busy daily lives and this was the perfect vantage point for observing the scene outside, which was bathed in the midday sun. The seating was perfect and as the sun streamed in through the large pane of glass, the café was heated to boiling point. The constant low hum of the air conditioner was enough to drive anyone insane, but to Jake it was soothing. The cool breeze that escaped from the vent directly above his head casually tousled his hair.

[Michael Alexander]

I like it... but rethink this... "the café was heated to boiling point"

Just my two cents worth.....





one of my favourite pics of all time, can stare at it for hours.....

[Rhona]

Yeah! I like that picture........easy on the eye.

You're 2 cent is greatly appreciated and that line will be rehashed.........remember this is my first attempt at a book, would you like a paragraph from a different section?

[Michael Alexander]

With the utmost respect, I shall decline.... tis' was way past nine, so I bid thee a fond farewell..... as I head of to bed....



But I will have a paragraph on Friday please..... just a wee bit tired at the moment.....

[Rhona]

 Tomorrow it is then 

[Michael Alexander]

It's tomorrow, pray tell, where art thou?

[Rhona]

At midday - I be at work my master.............but here goes; from a completely different section of the book, I've decided to treat you to two paragraphs:-


Both the terrifying shrieks and the awful odour penetrated Jakes brain simultaneously and jolted him back to reality, the harsh reality that was now his existence. Every nerve ending in his body was screaming and his head was thumping. Jake instinctively knew he was in trouble.....deep trouble. Far deeper than he could ever imagine in his wildest dreams, or in this case nightmare! He could feel the perspiration trickling down the back of his neck as a cold panic gripped him in the pit of his stomach; he slowly opened his eyes, and instantly wished he hadn't.

The vision that greeted Jake was one that he knew would be embedded in his memory until the day he drew his final breath. Satanic figures groped in the shadows – people from his past that were long dead, had returned to haunt him, shrieking and grabbing at him, reaching out pulling at his clothes and clawing at his flesh. Jake shut his eyes tight and hurriedly tried to move away from the grappling hands, his body held tight like a coiled spring. The sharp pain that tore through his body and the involuntary screech that escaped his constricted throat shot Jake back to reality. With a growing sense of doom he realised that both his wrists and ankles were shackled, chains leading from these shackles to a hollow, hinged neck-ring ensured Jake was going nowhere fast.


Whatcha think, huh? huh? huh?  I dare you to tell me that you are not gripped......velcro gloves - hah! you so want to read the rest..........

[Mike Stenson (RIP)]

At midday - I be at work my master.............but here goes; from a completely different section of the book, I've decided to treat you to two paragraphs:-


Both the terrifying shrieks and the awful odour penetrated Jakes brain simultaneously and jolted him back to reality, the harsh reality that was now his existence. Every nerve ending in his body was screaming and his head was thumping. Jake instinctively knew he was in trouble.....deep trouble. Far deeper than he could ever imagine in his wildest dreams, or in this case nightmare! He could feel the perspiration trickling down the back of his neck as a cold panic gripped him in the pit of his stomach; he slowly opened his eyes, and instantly wished he hadn't.

The vision that greeted Jake was one that he knew would be embedded in his memory until the day he drew his final breath. Satanic figures groped in the shadows – people from his past that were long dead, had returned to haunt him, shrieking and grabbing at him, reaching out pulling at his clothes and clawing at his flesh. Jake shut his eyes tight and hurriedly tried to move away from the grappling hands, his body held tight like a coiled spring. The sharp pain that tore through his body and the involuntary screech that escaped his constricted throat shot Jake back to reality. With a growing sense of doom he realised that both his wrists and ankles were shackled, chains leading from these shackles to a hollow, hinged neck-ring ensured Jake was going nowhere fast.


Whatcha think, huh? huh? huh?  I dare you to tell me that you are not gripped......velcro gloves - hah! you so want to read the rest..........

not tonight, still have to get some sleep.

MIKE!!!!! WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS WOMEN

[Rhona]

Hey! Hey! Hey! - what's with the insults??? Mike didn't find 'this woman'.......play nice!!!

[Michele Alexander (Voden)]

 :emot26:

Do you think he meant to say THIS WOMAN or THESE WOMEN?

He'd better be careful what he says - definately won't be getting the scanner if he is insulting any of the woman on the forum!

Think I'll ban him from Spar as well!

[Rhona]

Not to be giving you ideas Michelle, but I know where I'd put the scanner if he called to my door..............