story time 4 words only

[Bertie Horak]

he didn't know was

[Rhona]

the cherry was magic;

[Bertie Horak]

POOF!, he turned into

[Rhona]

a great big round

[Bertie Horak]

balloon filled with happy

[Rhona]

helium that had everyone

[georg ruf jr.]

thrilled as if to

[Clive Symes]

say , talking like a

[Bertie Horak]

chipmunk or Donald duck

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

as he floated across

[Julie Vice (Willson)]

the heavens dangling from

[Rhona]

a giraffes neck; What

[georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP)]

share a beer when he can have it all and then some . An empty milk jug that had been standing beside the flaggon of his grandmothers lovers bed, this is another story that missed the wine but had loads of blue diamond shaped pills that he kept for these very special moments. The ones where he thought he was a hunk of burning love!

This usually happened when late on Saturday night he consumed too much lager and thought that he was a stunning hansome Italian stallion, that had his pick of the fairest maids in all of Ireland. Except the maids were smarter far smarter than he could ever imagine. One by one, they picked a solid piece of of the old mans dining room table which had been part of an exquisite set that had been whittled by Merlin himself and his nubile young maidens.

Now the plot was cast and who would have thought that such sexy voluptuous blond vixens could cause so much damage with a few choice words to the cowering mans work, what a disaster it would be if they all bent over the fence at the same time and picked daffodils. Their bums swinging in the breeze, showing every hair on spotted butts. Eeeeek, what yechiii sight. Only the blind would be spared , but their nose can lead them away from all the evil smelling fumes that seem to be coming from exactly a place that one would not realy want it to, or one .... Oh forget it!

That's another days story. Up the hill and far over the gurgling stream was a little red brick house, in which there lived a dwarf. The Dwarf had a strange habit of letting the little people in "Littlepeopletown" take their tiny little bikes all the way down "Little Street" to go and see the littlest of the little Littles, that lived in the littlest house.

Expecting a very big surprise in the post, so big that he needed a month to sort out the Sundays before they got confused and started on the Mondays and Tuesdays as between the mondays and Saturdays, they don't have Fridays and Wednesdays to to sort out Thursday.

Coming to talk of Sundays, not even thinking about December, not too long now before the sleigh is dusted off by the man in red who has a big hit with small people who thought Christmas was the best time ever; this was when they ripped at brightly coloured paper, bows and ribbons. All the while whooping as drink goes down merrily in the busy time before lunch is 2 blow the man up.

After many years of both grief and happyness they knew the time had come to settle with his little maiden. So began their life as happy as could be, until there was a major upheaval that shook their little world. An addiction to cream filled cup cakes made them feel quite cuddly; the bulky curves on on their wives bodies , they ran as fast as their legs would let them fly, rotating in a circular motion untill plop.... they collapsed in a crumpled heap; they could not believe having come this far that it had ended before it could begin.

With a push and a shove the whole crumpled heap began to dissasemble before their very eyes, and out of the blue, out  popped a greeneyed red monster that had been at the bottom of the deep blue sea, it licked it's lips  in expectation of a tasty meal that might fill the nawing feeling that it felt when it saw those legs ye!!! those legs...the shark opened its jaws and thought oh mother do I really have to support Western Province. As its jaws shut  the deafening sound of bone crunching, nut wrenching , blood curdling screams erupted as the sea turned everybody's stomachs upside down and the water red.
Suddenly a shot rang, the shark was dead. A disembowled body hanging by a thread, entrails floating on the surface and were spotted by a dozen sharks that were actualy Cheeter supporters. The roar went up and the Lions said  'What's happening? you guys I thought we were ready togo to bed. Good thinking Batman, said he, its raining outside and the last candle and fire are out so let's gather the eye-candy and head off to bed, its Saturday night and time for some good clean sheets.

Sunday morning dawned and the previous night was all but a dream though hard to believe with toe nails sticking in the back of his neck, the pain was excruciating - but he loved the taste of them. The way they crunched and burst in the back of his mouth, letting all the sweet build up of toe jam tickle his taste buds and having this feeling of ooze running over and savoring the chewiness of the nails. A disgusting habit that he caused him to shudder with anticipation at the sound of the "Time Warp".

Bad hair and dressing along with the coolest corset and fishnet stockings we jump to the sound of their beat. With jump to the left and a step to the right, put your hands on your hips and do the hoky coky - shake it bend it, twist it but don't break it..... when you try to do the pelvic thrust. You could do yourself some achy breaky heart when I whisper in a gorgeous mans ear sweet nothings and some home truths that would make his toes curl, never mind that his head was spinning in the absolute whirlwind that consisted of wonderfull things.

Whilst still in a state of total "mooshyness", the band played 'Walzing Mathilda' to the Aussie rugby team while they pranced around like a bunch of Sheila's at Bruce's wedding. Unknown to them the Bokke had developed a strange new attitude.  They had recorded "Sarie Marais" to the sound of the other tune, when the Saints come marching in, however RHODES always come first! That was always a given, cause they were always the teachers pets. Teachers loved the best!!! and forgot the rest. The rest were not going to take this lying down - the fight had only just begun and the daggers were        polished while the shooters   were a shooting and the teams were a teaming with all the excitement of the day. Tomorrow would be a completely different day and all that knew, the teams involved would be getting ready for the biggest competition of the year.

Who will the winning team be. Only the public will decide. The teams lined up ready for the start of the votes being counted, Oppenheimer winning by a measly 1, a win being a  sympathetic public vote for the ability of being something other than Barnato nor Oppenheimer, but Rhodes. 'Rhodes Shmodes', roared the the fabulous green Barnato as Oppenheimer kicked seven own goals, losing by a narrow margin and Rhodes as champion again. Now... Yellow House,  unknown to all participants, strayed into the Oppenheimer camp cause the partying was about to begin.

Music blared around the place while the men were waiting for the girls in their itsy bitsy teeny weeny strand bikini, that for the first used as what it could cover up, it was disasteriously small for the Yellow girls' enormous    and   but the boys loved the impressive display and show ; their eyes popped out and as for Boy Georg he almost had to cover them up but thought twice about it as he'd miss all the naughty bits. Jnr truley loved the anticipation before the revealing of the great big bit he has never felt so excited or droooly about these kinda things. It happened after a bang on the Chevy backseat, he could hardly talk with the amount of sweat dripping down his face, for he was hallucinating. He was actualy a singing, tap dancing garden gnome with a huge round big red nose, caused by to much whiskey and a very serious addiction to dogfood burgers and grass.

High in the montain in a land far from normal civilisation lived a happy little doc by the name of Albertus, he was the cutest thing, very shy, simple and eye-candy for the babes. Growing herbs in the window boxes he kept for exotic banned herbs which he would use for elaborate ceremonies with his patients under strict instruction to take three drops of the nice tasty RED stuff mixed with the stuff that was yucky green. There were no blue to be found anywhere, so he used more red stuff to sweaten the great green potion and this is what happened     luckly all the experimental victims laughed as blue burst's of delight bubbled out of their ears and other Monsters lurked around waiting for the red to grab hold of green to hit the blue bursting bubbles and eat Chocolate mousse with lemon as the reds cheer for being the best.

Blue and Green are in a higher league no no she cried, get red to do the mopping and cleaning! "  your   said red! "now, now be nice and slap blue/green said the violent who loved Red and would give up her bunnyears to rather be green! Not on your life said the little red ridinghood who is always under the influence of some kind of substance she gets from Granny Diana. A secret blend of wine and some special herb cookies might just do the trick. On the other hand the cookies could turn a good girl bad and we all know the fun that bad girls wanna have. Always looking for the next thing to entertain themselves with, like pole dancing and copious amounts of vanilla fudge and whipped cream with sprinkles on top, dripping with caramel sauce and a chocolate covered cherry on top. Can I have one? The pregnant lady asked, as it sounded particularly naughty but oh/so nice. A vote was taken, but alas it was eaten by greedy Georgjr, not even the cherry survived his chomping chops. A big dirty burp was heard by everyone all the way to Timbuktoo and back! What he didn't know was the cherry was magic; POOF!, he turned into a great big round balloon filled with happy helium that had everyone thrilled as if to say , talking like a chipmunk or Donald duck as he floated across the heavens dangling from a giraffes neck; What

[georg ruf jr.]

the hell happened now???

[georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP)]

the hell happened now???

Simple son, the admin decided to do your job you lazy bugger