Just To Make You Laugh

[SandyB]

This  one's for Mike ... thank  goodness  Spar  has  no  numbers in it !!


  4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a hospital waiting for their wives to give birth.


     Soon, a nurse came out from the delivery room and told the first daddy:" Congratulations, you've got twins!"."Oh!.....maybe it's just a coincidence" said the daddy, "as I'm working at the  Petronas  Twin Towers ".



     Then another nurse came out of the room and told the second daddy:" Congratulations, you've got triplets!""Wooow!, this is a coincidence too" said the second daddy.   "I am working for 3M Corporation".



     A while later, another nurse appeared and told the third daddy:" Congratulations! Your wife got quadruplets" "Thanks God.  Perhaps this is also a coincidence". "I work at Four Seasons Hotel!".



     Meanwhile, the fourth daddy-to-be was becoming very worried. All the 3 daddies asked him:" Why do you look so worried?". He answered, "I work at Seven-Eleven

[Billy Struthers]

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "Ass Holes!" Immediately the Australian National Anthem began to play, sung by Thabo Mbeki and Jacob Zuma, backed up by Robert Mugabe and The Zanu PF, with Alec Erwin on guitar, Robert McBride on drums, Jackie Selebi on harmonica, Judge John Hlope on tambourine, George Bush on sax and Dr Manto-Tshabalala Msimang on scotch...
You forgot  Mr slippery Shlope ...  singing about the benefits of having an " Oasis "

Hey leave the Aussie Anthem out of it Bru ! 

[SandyB]

Hey ! we all  laugh at ourselves .. wer'e  in a  circus  here  with a clown  in charge ... 

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Hey Sandy,  , Who's the clown??

[SandyB]

Jacob Zuma  of course ..   

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

No man Sandy, he can't be a clown, a clown makes one laugh, he just makes one want to shoot him in the head!

[cloete]

LMAO.HA HA.

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time

considering how their online names might appear and be misread....

especially all in lower case.





Check them out yourself .....





'Who  Represents'

is where you can find the name of the agent  that represents

any celebrity.  Their website is
www.whorepresents.com 



 



'Experts  Exchange'

is a knowledge base where programmers can  exchange

advice and views at

www.expertsexchange.com 





Looking for a pen?

Look no further than

'Pen  Island' at

www.penisland.net





Need a therapist?

Try 'Therapist Finder' at 

www.therapistfinder.com



 

There's the

'Italian Power Generator'

company at

www.powergenitalia.com





And don't forget the

'Mole Station Native Nursery'

in    New South  Wales
www.molestationnursery.com





If you're looking for

'IP computer software'

there's  always
www.ipanywhere.com





The 'First  Cumming  Methodist  Church'

website is   

www.cummingfirst.com





And the designers at

'Speed of Art'

await you at their wacky website

www.speedofart.com

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Cape Town - from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Cape   Town is a city on the coast of South Africa so called because the wearing of capes or cloaks is compulsory within the city limits.

It was  founded by Batman on  his way to Melbourne from Holland in  1652.

Cape  Town is   also called "The Mother City", believed to be  due to the highly expressive vocabulary of the  local dialect (in which the words "your  mother"  feature regularly) and the cheap and nasty (but  potent)  local wine.

A different school of thought believes the origin of the name lies in  the fact that it takes 9 months to do anything  in  this sleepy  hollow.

Cape   Town is situated on a sandbar under Table Mountain (so called because unlike most mountains, it is   flat).

Cape Town became famous for the first successful heart   transplant operation at its "Great Skewer" Hospital by Christian Barnyard. 


Cape Town is neither as wealthy nor as large as Johannesburg, so the inhabitants compensate with a superior attitude based on the claim that they were there first.
Which none of them personally were, unless they are over 400 years old?


It is socially unacceptable for a Capetonian to talk to people that they have not previously talked to, which severely limits social interactions.

If the opportunity should somehow   present itself, a traditional Cape Town greeting is "Jou ma se *%#@", often abbreviated to "Jou ma", which means, roughly "Good day and good health to you and your good mother, sir!"

Robin Island was named after Batman's faithful sidekick.

Later it was renamed "Robbin' Island" and used as a jail, like Alcatraz but with colder water around it and more sharks in it.

In spite of the revolution in 1994 severe social inequality still persists. Efforts to redress this historical imbalance are progressing well, particularly the "mugg'em" initiative.

Popular sports are pretentiousness, drunk-driving, pole-vaulting, French dressing and Mexican standoffs. The summer sport of setting fire to the mountainside is more popular with tourists than with locals, though all enjoy the cheerful spectacle of the flames and smoke.

Since 2006, the town council of Cape Town has embraced an "Amish-isation " policy,  and has turned it's back on the use of electricity, declaring it a decadent bourgeois luxury.  Electricity is slowly being phased out in a series of "power cuts", and it is to be replaced by the use of candles, paraffin lamps and fires for illumination and  sing-alongs for entertainment.

Cape Town is the first place to boast an Invisible Bridge.  However, the bridge is currently not in use  as  the city council refused to believe the claims  of  the  construction company when they informed  the council that they had  developed a new  building material which was stronger than  steel  but could not be seen by the human eye. The city council is said to have likened the bridge fiasco to "The Emperor's New Clothes".



Roads Memorial celebrates the fact that Cape Town is where roads were invented.

This is delightfully done by means of a monument which includes important tools for roadmaking such as lions, a man with a horse and some dude's head.

Bergies  are Cape Town's  world famous mountaineers who  live on Table Mountain and often come  down into  the city to welcome foreigners with the traditional Capetonian greeting of "Jou maaaa se  *%$@!"

[SandyB]

Oi !!  Bunny ears ...  dont  slag my city ... and yes I despite being a vampire who has seen many centuries .. have not been   resident  for 400 years  but  settled down  recently in this  laid back city ...  the  bergies make for easy targets   for a quick sip of blood .. advantage is  its already well laced with  alcohol  so i get  free booze as well ...      ...  strangely enough Paula .. the quick paced life of  Joburg with  quick and big money is  merely transitory ..  fact that has played out so many times .. when times are lean ..   our cousins in the north seem to   be harder hit than us ... John had it  many times over  ..  lean times and Cape town  sleepy hollow  still  chugged along   producing income ... same now with my  company .. up country way below budget .. but  Cape  Town   above budget ,.. so yes we slower  more relaxed ,, less frenetic... more of the nine month mnd   but we passionate about what we do    and it shows ...  so we are there ...     heres to CT with its invisible bridges that  every  big fast  frenetic  investor/builder was supposed to  include in their "upgrade"  that  being another  huge phallic  tower building ,  the completion of the invisible bridges ...  but somehow or other retreated  north  or somewhere else  and conveniently forgot to  complete the project ...  even the stadium will not not get that happening ..   

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Hmmmm, what can I say...........relax those buns Sandy!!!

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Six Truths of Life


1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.




2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.



3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.



4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.



5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.



6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

I apologise about this. I did that as well, I'm an idiot too and I needed company.



Remember I still

LOVE YOU ALL

So here's to you having a good day.