Murder most foul!

[Dalene Steenkamp (Coetzee)]

It must be the most terreble thing to live through  -  such deep depression that drives you to the point where you see no other way than to kill your children and yourself.  I personally think you can never judge people with depression if you have never experienced it yourself.  There are so many people around us in every day life who live with depression, but they do not talk about it or try to hide it and eventually it leads to this kind of deed or they commit suicide, then everyone around them are in awe, 'cos that person always seemed so happy. 

[Delia]

Well said Michelle - as you said, we can never condone something so heinous as taking out your own children - but i've always said i can understand with empathy (again, without condoning) what could drive a mother to do something like that under the dark cloud of depression........in her mind she must've thought she was doing right by her children - i know this is not depression related, just a normal part of raising children but there were many times when Caryn was a baby when that incessant crying was enough to drive me up the wall and to do something, anything just to stop that crying when i was sleep deprived, going thru shit with my ex, etc. etc. She was a cat-napper for the first 2 years of her life, she would sleep for 20 minutes at a time - i was a walking zombie and to this day still feel as tho i've never really caught up with that sleep - sleep deprivation was a well known torture method (among others) in POW camps, enough to drive the toughest person around the twist, all it takes is to slip over that fine line between sanity and insanity..........Thankfully most of us are able to walk away from those moments when we feel we're losing it with our kids, but sadly some of us can't - thank God i was able to walk away, go for a walk in the garden, put earphones on and listen to music, etc...........

"Judge not, and neither condemn, for you know not why a thing occurs, nor to what end..."

[Paul (Pepe) Freemantle]

@ Bobby, it was Brent Olckers, he passed away with Leucemia and had a sister Sonya Olckers. Gus should remember her as well from the Bop Session days, very attractive woman.

[Richard Opperman]

Spoke to my sister Cathy yesterday and she does not remember the family name or the name of her friend who was murdered.

All she remembers is that she was very traumatized when she found out that her friend was killed by her own mother because the last time she saw her was when her mother called her to come and bath! She said she remembered her friend's mother seemed to be annoyed.

[pam spackman]

Yes Michelle I must agree with all you say, that poor woman must have been going through HELL

and not to have anyone to be able to talk to and to try and understand...........even in todays day and

age you still get people who will say pull yourself together......get on with it!!! And of course the MACHO MEN  that

will laugh and say oh it's 'just another neurotic woman!!'

Until you've walked in their shoes!!! There that's all I'm saying on that subject........for now!!  Sometimes all it needs (not in that case) is to have

a really good friend to talk to

[SandyB]

Yes Michelle I must agree with all you say, that poor woman must have been going through HELL

and not to have anyone to be able to talk to and to try and understand...........even in todays day and

age you still get people who will say pull yourself together......get on with it!!! And of course the MACHO MEN  that

will laugh and say oh it's 'just another neurotic woman!!'

Until you've walked in their shoes!!! There that's all I'm saying on that subject........for now!!  Sometimes all it needs (not in that case) is to have

a really good friend to talk to



In my times of working  in the bars in town .. i got a very good insight into what Pam is saying .. people just talked .. and yes you were invisible .. the virtual fly on the wall .. again i never mention names ..  but one evening while on duty in the stauschlager .. ( not even Caseys)  one " gentleman " was saying to his pals gently sipping beer that " My Missus is complaining about my time spent in the bars .. she's trying to cut into my drinking time .. maybe its time I gave her another  baby to keep her occupied and not bother me so much " .. Firstly it sounded like he only bonked her to procreate .. or  said "Ok   Luv  off the pill its  baby time again "   needless to say I could not bite my tongue .. and told him off , firstly not to talk so disrespectfully  about his wife in  public ..  and secondly that she married him  to share her life with him  and maybe if he tried to spend some quality time with  her he might discover some things he never really knew ..  again  i was not a popular chappie .. i thank my lucky stars i had a fiercely independent  being as my mother ,she set benchmarks ..

[Paul (Pepe) Freemantle]

I think it is time for me to open my mouth about this topic (depression) and what has happened in my life. Yes, Sandy, you are quite right in what you said there. I want to share this with you and I say it with a heavy heart.

My late wife committed suicide due to depression which none of us were aware of. The night she shot herself, she could have very easily had turned the revolver on us before shooting herself but didn't. Moral of the story is, if you do not know the symptons, it can and will be too late like in my case. Not even the doctors whom my wife worked for at that time, picked up that she was depressed and obviously was a great shock to them as well. Fortunately for me and my eldest son, I had learnt from this and have saved my son from committing suicide on a number of occassions. My son is suffering with manic depression (bipolar disorder) which was sparked off with the trauma we went through. I can write a lot about this topic as have been there and got the t-shirt. I have done a lot of research about it especially due to my son suffering with his ailment. I Praise God that today he is well and stable with chronic medication. I am prepared to share with anyone that wants to or needs to know more.

Kind Regards,

Pepe

     

[Michele Alexander (Voden)]

@ Pepe  e154

Thank-you for sharing that with us, our postings under this topic must have stirred a lot of memories for you.

Funny enough the topic in church on Sunday was (in a nutshell) about what you go through in life will enable you to help other people. Make any sense? Speaking from experience - my brother was killed in a car accident in Oct 2003 and a year later my dad was diagnosed with leukemia. My dad is fine today and he and my mom have been able to help and be a very positive influence/inspiration for other people going through similar problems.

I wish I had more time but I have to get girls ready for school now.

[Paul (Pepe) Freemantle]

@ Michele

You are welcome Michele. Yes, unfortunately it did bring back a lot of memories to me but felt the need to share with others as well. What you say about the church service you had is correct. I truly believe that God prepared me for big things and yes, God uses you in a lot of ways to help and support others.

I am sorry to hear about your losses as well but Praise God for your fathers healing!!!. Your father is a living Testomany to others and of God's work. Walk in Faith, be Strong in the Lord and His Word and you will see what happens in your life.

The same goes for my son, I have visualised him standing in front of a church congregation and sharing his testomany with others of what God has done in his life. It is awesome and exciting to know what God is busy doing in his life. I Trust and Believe that it is just a matter of time that Craig will be Healed AMEN!!!

[SandyB]

Thanks  for  sharing  , being  open  and talking  from  the  heart Pepe ..

[Paul (Pepe) Freemantle]

@ Sandy, thanks Sandy, pays to be open and honest. One never knows who has been through what and can maybe be of help or assistance should they land up in similar situations.

Kind Regards,

Pepe

[Julie Vice (Willson)]

I take my hat off to you Pepe, this illness is scary for those who suffer from depression and for those around them.

[Paul (Pepe) Freemantle]

@ Julie, thank you very much Julie. Things are not easy and especially as a single parent makes it a bit harder. But never the less, we will always prevail. Fortunately Craig is stable today and has not had any relapses and no mood swings for 6 months.

[pam spackman]

Yes Pepe,this is truly an illness that has to be shared, but because it cannot
always be seen,e.g. a broken leg, it is often missed or swept under the carpet!!

My thoughts are with you and keep strong

[Paul (Pepe) Freemantle]

Thanks Pam, appreciate all:-)