Just To Make You Laugh

[Patricia Lotte]

 

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

 

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

I was at my bank today.
There was a short line. Just one lady in front of me-- an Asian lady who
was trying to exchange yen for Dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated . . .
She asked the teller, 'Why it change?
Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla foyen.
Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?'

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'.
The Asian lady says............ 'Fluc you white people, too!'

[georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP)]

 202

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over
his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial
sponge bath.
Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the
covers She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely......
 

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?      

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

This could happen to you.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrasse d,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
'No..I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say nervously...

'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.'

[Bertie Horak]

 

[georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP)]

Paula is full of mischief today

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Just for the men!

How do you turn a fox into an elephant ?
Marry her!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.  It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't.  There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course.  He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married my 'Miss Right'.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90% ...
it's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men ...
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Paula is full of mischief today

You see Mike even Dadswa said "today" so I'm good the rest of the time then?

   

[Paula Gottsch (Willson)]

Law in South Africa

Two recent court cases, have earned the attention of newspaper readers in South Africa

1. One person was fined R1 000 for not having a TV license.
2. Another was released on bail for R500 after being arrested for murder.

The moral of this South African story:

If you do not  have a TV license and the inspector comes around, kill him!
You'll save R500.

It's the Right Thing To Do...

[Michael Alexander]

Out of Curiosity, all you people around the world, how much is your TV Licence?

In Nam, for Namibian TV, which we do not even receive... it is .... N$ 204.00 a year...


   

[Mike Stenson (RIP)]

Out of Curiosity, all you people around the world, how much is your TV Licence?

In Nam, for Namibian TV, which we do not even receive... it is .... N$ 204.00 a year...


   

Per TV.....if you own two its double.

[georgswa (Georg Ruf) (RIP)]

What you pay is not much if you had reception

We pay for

TV & Radio
Car Radio if used while working
Radio used in the office
TV Licence
TV Cable connection
Any person living with you at age 18 must pay separate

Basic Radio and TV plus Cable is about 35 € / quarter

We have state run TV
1.
2.
And many 3. regional programs
Private Stations are free thy are financed with advertizing

I receive about 32 Stations. We go digital soon and will get more

Via Sat dish i count over 100 TV and many radio stations

[Rhona]

For us it is E160 per year.....